With Valentine's Day just around the corner, we wanted to share our process that we use to help you create love on purpose. We'll outline the 7 stages you need to master and give you some tips for making it happen.
7 Steps to Creating Love On Purpose
1. Discover Your Past Patterns in Relationship and Release Them
We learn how to receive love at an early age from people who are flawed. So we learn that love is conditional. We then play this pattern out in our intimate relationships. You must identify this pattern so that you recognize the pattern you are stuck in and what needs to change.
Once you recognize the pattern, you have to make the conscious effort to end it. Stop saying yes when you mean no. Draw a clear boundary and enforce it.
2. Forgive Yourself, Forgive Others, and Move On
There is a saying, "Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Stop holding onto the anger and resentment of the past. The only way to do this is to practice forgiveness.
Forgive yourself, forgive the other people who have betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed you. Discover what the lesson was for you to learn, be grateful to have that knowledge and experience and move on! Learn from the past, forgive and move on. Finding lasting love is about what your heart truly desires.
Try this practice: Hold your hands on your heart, close your eyes and picture the person you wish to forgive (it could be you). Say to that person, "Please forgive me. I'm sorry. Thank you. I love you," over and over again until you feel the energy shift.
3. Learn to Love and Accept All the Parts of You, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
This means realizing that there are no conditions necessary for you to be loved. We keep saying it over and over, the mere fact that you exist is enough - you are worth loving. There is nothing you need to do or be. Start by loving yourself unconditionally - love and accept all the parts of you - the good, the bad and the ugly.
Start using these affirmations on a daily basis: "I love and accept myself." "I am worthy of respectful love." "There is enough love for everyone, including me." Say these daily many, many times and watch your life change.
4. Live, Feel, and Express Authentically
Stop twisting into a pretzel to receive love. If you want someone to love you for who you are, no strings attached, then you must be authentic. Many of us try to figure out what the other person wants and attempt to become it. That is a recipe for disaster. It is also not fair to the person you are with.
Express your feelings authentically. Take responsibility for them. Ask for what you want and need. This is the path to receive love for who you truly are.
5. Be Committed to Your Own Personal Growth (Never Sacrifice Yourself)
Whatever your spiritual path may be, commit to it fully. This is your path to wholeness. Only by becoming whole yourself will you attract another whole person. In relationship, water seeks its own level - if you want to create a lasting relationship, do the work to move forward on your journey and you will surely meet your partner along the way.
Start a practice of inner child dates. Take your inner child out once a week doing something that s/he would love to do. Let your inner child pick the activity. This will help you get back in touch with an important part of yourself and create a new rapport with yourself so that when you are in a relationship you will not abandon you.
6. Make A List of Qualities You Desire in a Partner And Embody Those Qualities
Be very specific. Focus on values, personality traits and internal qualities, not on physical traits or external qualities. If it is important that your soul mate be successful, then focus on the qualities that made him that way, not the amount of money he makes. Then go through the list and ask yourself: "Do I hold/have this quality?" If not, how can you cultivate it?
In order to manifest what you desire you must first vibrate at that frequency. If you are looking for a man to fulfill parts of you that are lacking, then you are creating a co-dependent and unhealthy relationship. Become whole and attract another whole person to you.
7. Visualize and Manifest What You Desire
If we can't see it we can't create it. This is a truth for everyone. If you don't know what a true soul partnership looks like, you can't create it. Get clear on what it will look like for you and focus on that vision everyday.
Love is not something that happens accidentally. You aren't going to bump into the love of your life in the supermarket and intuitively know how to make it work. Love, just like anything important, requires you to be intentional and take action on those intentions. Taking the time to implement these changes in itself is a bold act that will create love in your life.
