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Are You Stuck in the “Lie” of Love?

At some point every single one of us has been caught in the “LIE” of LOVE.

The lie of love that says we can only have love with this one person.  The lie of love that fears we can only receive love in this one way.  The lie of love that says we will never feel “this way” with another person.

It is easy to get stuck on the details of the past.  We all spend time revisiting the loving memories and the heartbreaks of old relationships.  What we forget is that our memories are malleable.  They change with time.  We recreate them and alter them every time we revisit them.   The more we nurture these memories, the more we get attached to the lie.

This lie of love keeps us stuck in the past.  It keeps us stuck in our pain and heartbreak.  It keeps us from being able to receive love from anyone else.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, the lie of love is an illusion.  We decide that love has to exist in our life exactly the way we want it.  Our love has to arrive on our time schedule or else it is not love.  Our love has to make us feel a certain way or else it is not love. Our lover has to express their love in a specific way to us or else it is not love.

This is the path to disappointment, pain and loneliness.  And this path is perpetuated in literature, on TV, and in movies.  The Truth of love is so much more freeing – it is easier and allows us to receive what we truly desire.  When we step into the Truth then we become the Master of Love!

What if we could be free from that lie and step into the TRUTH of LOVE?

The Truth of love is that love is everywhere.  Love is created by you.  No one can give you love, because it is always yours to have.  Love has limitless expressions.

We’re not referring to some abstract idea of love.  We mean feeling loved each and every day.  Receiving that love from your soul mate, and giving that love in return.  

The Truth of love is that love is your birthright.  You were born perfect and whole.  You simply have forgotten that Truth in the pain of experience, so you’ve been trying to become whole again through another person.  You’ve been trying to feel complete through another person.

The only person who can complete you is you.  And the way to do that is to realize that there is nothing wrong with you.  You are not broken.  You don’t need to be fixed.  The truth of love is found in self-acceptance.  Shining the light of love on those dark places inside of us.

It is time to change our relationship to those old memories so we can release ourselves from the lie.  Look for the golden nugget in each past relationship.  There is a gift for you to take away from your heartaches.  Finding that gift allows you to grow and your love for self to expand.  

Examine the ways in which you reject yourself.  How often do you negate or reject your feelings by not expressing them?  Maybe you hold back your true self and present a version of yourself that you believe will be more likeable or acceptable.  You will not be loved for who you are until you start loving yourself for who you are.

When you learn to love yourself then love is available to you in each and every moment, and you can create love in your life under any circumstances, then you can experience the Truth - Love is inside of you and limitless.

When we get stuck thinking that LOVE is in the details – we set ourselves up for disappointment. We enter a relationship with hope – and that hope is the last thing to go.  Only by releasing that hope (the hope that says love can only be fulfilled by this one person, at this time, and in this one way) can we open up to all the possibilities that love has to offer us.  

What if every time your heart broke, it actually expanded and allowed room for more love to enter?  When we release the lie, we welcome all our experiences as an opportunity to love ourselves more deeply.  When we experience Love from inside of us, then and only then is it reflected back to us through the eyes of our Beloved. 

5 Steps to Manifesting Your Soul Mate

If you desire true soul partnership, there is a clear path to finding that special person.  Follow this blueprint and you will surely find love:

1.   Let go of the past.  

Forgive yourself, forgive the other people who have betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed you.  Discover what the lesson was for you to learn, be grateful to have that knowledge and experience and move on!  When we are focused on past hurts and disappointments then we are choosing our current mates based on what we don’t want.  Your last boyfriend cheated?  You better make sure the next one is honest and faithful.  This way of thinking will keep you in that old pattern.  Learn from the past, forgive and move on.  Finding your soul mate is about what your heart truly desires.

2.  Treat yourself how you wish to be treated.  

There is no wiggle room here.  If what you desire is respectful love, then you must be giving that love to yourself.  Embrace all the parts of you – the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  You must be willing to give yourself the same love and acceptance that you are looking for in your mate. When you embrace this then you become available for the love you most desire.  This also means that you live your life the same way you would if you already had what you desired.  So many people put off living fully until the right conditions are in place.  Besides, living your life this way will most likely put you in places where you will meet that person who shares your likes, interests, lifestyle, etc.

3.  Be committed to your personal and spiritual growth.  

Whatever your spiritual path may be, commit to it fully.  This is your path to wholeness.  Only by becoming whole yourself will you attract another whole person.  In relationship, water seeks its own level – if you want a Soul Mate, do the work to move forward on your journey and you will surely meet your partner along the way.

4.  Make a list of qualities that you want your partner to have.  

Be very specific.  Focus on values, personality traits and internal qualities, not on physical traits or external qualities.  If it is important that your soul mate be successful, then focus on the qualities that made him that way, not the amount of money he makes.  You want to focus on who he is, not what he does or looks like.  Then go through the list and ask yourself: - “Do I hold/have this quality? If not, how can you cultivate it?  Then start cultivating those qualities.  Be the person you are seeking to be with.  This is not about him completing you.  One plus one does not equal one. You are complete and whole within yourself.

5.   Do not settle!

It is possible for you to have everything you want in relationship.  If what you desire is a true soul partnership then the Law of Polarity says that you would not have the desire if it wasn’t possible for that desire to be fulfilled.  Keep your eye on the prize!  When you waste time with someone who is not what you truly desire, then you are telling the universe that you don’t really want a soul mate.  You are telling the universe that you don’t deserve a soul mate.  And you are cheating yourself and the man you are with.  Stop wasting time with good enough, and go for what is in your heart’s desire!

It seems like everyone is talking about Elizabeth Gilbert’s book with the movie starring Julia Roberts only a few weeks away from release.  So what is the message that everyone is buzzing about that is so clearly articulated in the book’s pages?  

Self Love.

That’s right!  The key to having all that we desire all comes down to how we love ourselves.

Here are some questions for you to ponder to discover the level that you truly love yourself:

1.   Do you honor your commitments?
~ Our word must be golden. If we say it, it is done.
2.   Do you take time to refuel?
~ Learning to serve ourselves before others is a skill most of us must learn.
3.   Do you take responsibility for where you are currently?
~ Blame is the enemy.  Notice what is being mirrored back to you when you connect with others.  How we FEEL is an indication of what is going on inside of us.  If we feel a “negative” emotion – what is going on inside us that is creating it?  No one “makes” us feel anything.  The only way out of the “blame game” is to step up and into responsibility.

Our intimate relationships mirror what is going on inside of us.  If we are unable to honor the commitments we make to ourselves then how can we expect someone outside of us to honor their commitments to us?  The reflection we see from the outside is not a direct reflection – it is more like a “Fun House” mirror with a distorted image.

Going back to old behavior will only create more similar experiences like those in our past.  To move forward, we must embrace whatever negative emotion may be coming up for us.  To have a real shift may feel uncomfortable at first. Taking on any new behavior will take some practice.  Trust in the process.

In fact Elizabeth Gilbert has this to say in the book:

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

So start making a daily effort.  Commit to it.  Do whatever actions are necessary.  And while you are enjoying the fruits of your labor, remember to keep moving in the direction of your inspiration.

Are you hoping on a wing and a prayer?

 

Hope is a great emotion.  It often brings light into the darkest of places.  There is absolutely no logic in HOPE.  For this reason hoping is a good thing, although sometimes many of us simply hope, and do nothing else.

 

This is often the case when it comes to LOVE.  At my wedding last Saturday a dear friend said several times: “You give me hope!”  I knew what she meant.  I’d been there myself, many times, not just once.  At a lovely wedding, no boyfriend, no date, and feeling so happy for the couple and yet that green-eyed monster of jealousy was lurking over my shoulder.  Hope was all I could muster.

 

Hoping is a great place to start.  You’ll get a lot more mileage out of taking action – even a small action.  Setting an intention is how to begin the process of manifesting what you desire.  Be clear on what you want.  The more details and the more you incorporate your five senses the better.  When you have love in your life what will it FEEL like?  Answer that SPECIFICALLY and then find ways to bring that feeling to life in your day right now!

 

If you are serious about wanting love in your life – real love – life long lasting love, then its time to get serious.  How do you want your lover to treat you?  Once again, be specific.  Are you treating yourself this way already? 

 

Here’s an example from my own life.  I knew I wanted the real deal, real love with a spiritual connection and every time a relationship did not work out I would dissect it to discover the lesson.  I’d ask myself, “What did I learn?”  In the year 2000 a clear piece of my love puzzle came into focus – RESPECT. 

 

I realized that in my family of origin “I love you,” meant I don’t respect you because there were no boundaries.  In order to have respect there must be boundaries.  That boyfriend I had in the year 2000 had a family that loved respectfully.  Certainly every family has their issues, and they had their share, but in this arena they truly excelled. 

 

I did not know how to LOVE RESPECTFULLY.  I set the intention to have respectful love and set myself on a course to learn HOW to love respectfully myself. 

 

Setting an intention that is in alignment with what you truly desire is an action that you must take to create change.  Who do you have to BE to have what you desire?  In what ways can you shift from where you are now to where you want to be?  Again, how you FEEL is everything!

 

So the next time you find yourself HOPING for something – Love, Money, Health – allow that to be the SPARK that ignites action and set a clear intention of what you want.

 

Spa Luce Presents

Orna Banarie & Matthew Walters, C.Ht.

 

They will show You HOW to Create Love On Purpose!

Tuesday, August 18th 7:00pm
$10.00 (all monies donated to Sojourn Shelter for Battered Women)

Orna Banarie and Matthew Walters, C.Ht. and are known as THE Power Couple.  Why?  Orna is a manifestation coach and the GPS for Your Soul.  Matthew is a transformational spiritual teacher and the co-founder of DownloadsForChange.com.  Together they have created a soul partnership and want to share that process with You.

It took Orna and Matthew over 20 years to find each other and they want to share the journey with You so You can create harmonious relationships.  Orna and Matthew are willing to share their stories with you because if it is possible for them, then it is possible for anyone.  And that means it is possible for YOU!

**This is for anyone who is seeking to create the relationship they most desire.  Whether you are in a relationship, have been in a relationship, or want to be in a relationship you will benefit greatly from this work.**

•    Understand why you get the results you get in relationships now
•    Discover the system for breaking your negative patterns
•    Know the one thing you must have in relationship that you must not sacrifice
•    The most important key element in any successful partnership
•    Find out how you can transform your relationship with yourself so that you can undeniably feel loved.

Spa Luce
Renaissance Hollywood Hotel at Hollywood and Highland Center
1755 N Highland Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90028-4403
(323) 491-1376