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5 Steps to Manifesting Your Soul Mate

If you desire true soul partnership, there is a clear path to finding that special person.  Follow this blueprint and you will surely find love:

1.   Let go of the past.  

Forgive yourself, forgive the other people who have betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed you.  Discover what the lesson was for you to learn, be grateful to have that knowledge and experience and move on!  When we are focused on past hurts and disappointments then we are choosing our current mates based on what we don’t want.  Your last boyfriend cheated?  You better make sure the next one is honest and faithful.  This way of thinking will keep you in that old pattern.  Learn from the past, forgive and move on.  Finding your soul mate is about what your heart truly desires.

2.  Treat yourself how you wish to be treated.  

There is no wiggle room here.  If what you desire is respectful love, then you must be giving that love to yourself.  Embrace all the parts of you – the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  You must be willing to give yourself the same love and acceptance that you are looking for in your mate. When you embrace this then you become available for the love you most desire.  This also means that you live your life the same way you would if you already had what you desired.  So many people put off living fully until the right conditions are in place.  Besides, living your life this way will most likely put you in places where you will meet that person who shares your likes, interests, lifestyle, etc.

3.  Be committed to your personal and spiritual growth.  

Whatever your spiritual path may be, commit to it fully.  This is your path to wholeness.  Only by becoming whole yourself will you attract another whole person.  In relationship, water seeks its own level – if you want a Soul Mate, do the work to move forward on your journey and you will surely meet your partner along the way.

4.  Make a list of qualities that you want your partner to have.  

Be very specific.  Focus on values, personality traits and internal qualities, not on physical traits or external qualities.  If it is important that your soul mate be successful, then focus on the qualities that made him that way, not the amount of money he makes.  You want to focus on who he is, not what he does or looks like.  Then go through the list and ask yourself: - “Do I hold/have this quality? If not, how can you cultivate it?  Then start cultivating those qualities.  Be the person you are seeking to be with.  This is not about him completing you.  One plus one does not equal one. You are complete and whole within yourself.

5.   Do not settle!

It is possible for you to have everything you want in relationship.  If what you desire is a true soul partnership then the Law of Polarity says that you would not have the desire if it wasn’t possible for that desire to be fulfilled.  Keep your eye on the prize!  When you waste time with someone who is not what you truly desire, then you are telling the universe that you don’t really want a soul mate.  You are telling the universe that you don’t deserve a soul mate.  And you are cheating yourself and the man you are with.  Stop wasting time with good enough, and go for what is in your heart’s desire!

Often times in relationship we have expectations.  Sometimes we are not even aware of our expectations.

Last year for Valentine’s Day Matthew and I decided to lay low, spend the day together and keep things low-key.  We didn’t go out of town, or spend a lot of money – with our wedding in October we were on a tighter budget.  So after a day of bike riding and making our own pizza dough for Vegan Pizza we sat down on the couch and I handed him an envelope and small gift. 

Matthew opened the card, the gift, thanked me profusely, kissed me and said “I..uh…I don’t have anything for you.”  Slowly my eyes filled with tears that soon spilled over onto my cheeks like a light rain.  How is this possible? I kept thinking.  Here I was in the best relationship of my life, my soul mate, the easiest relationship ever, and for Valentine’s Day he got me nothing?

The light rain of tears gained the force of a powerful storm and the only words I could squeak out were “I just need to feel what I’m feeling.”  I got up, went to the bedroom and shut the door.  I threw myself on the bed and sobbed like a baby.  It was inconceivable, Matthew had broken my heart. 

Shortly thereafter there was a knock on the door and my Beloved entered with his head low and a heavy heart.  “I am so sorry,” he said with tears in his eyes.  “I thought since we said we were laying low that we were not exchanging gifts. I blew it. I am so sorry.”

I cried in his arms as he stroked my hair and begged for forgiveness.  Finally, I looked up at him and said, “I just never thought you would break my heart.”

The next day I got down to my car to find a note that read, “I love you, Baby and I am truly sorry.  I know that we will grow stronger because of this.  Just know that I am in mourning for your broken heart. Your Soul Mate, Matthew xoxo.”

I had stated on many occasions how much I would enjoy receiving notes, so finding a note on my car – scribbled on the back of a deposit envelope – really did illustrate thoughtfulness and effort. 

Later that evening I was given a card – not a Valentine’s Day Card – rather a simple card with a cookie on the front (when asked what was my favorite kind of cake, my answer is often “COOKIES!”) and a note inside informing me that I am the first-ever recipient of: Orna Appreciation Month!

For the next THIRTY-ONE days I received a card or a note that showered appreciation on one aspect of my being.  For Thirty-One Days. 

I had the expectation of a card.  One card.  What I received was thirty-one cards/notes.  I was thrilled and so excited to receive the first, second, third…oh, and by the fourth I was realizing that I had to literally expand my capacity to receive because Matthew had just gotten started.

There were nights I was so tired and worked so long that I had forgotten completely, only to find a card under my pillow. 

The cards and notes continued and continued.  When I thought, “He must simply be out of ideas,” or “How can he keep coming up with something new?” they continued.  When I was crabby or cranky or dare I label it PMS, they continued.  For a full, longest month on the calendar, I was showered with appreciation. 

The cards were funny, touching, sentimental, they made me cry, they made me uncomfortable because I was not used to receiving this much.  Was I worthy?  Oh, I share with you to my own amazement, I was worthy!  I was worthy of allowing this man to love me. 

Someone told me a long time ago that when your heart breaks it actually breaks open to hold more love.  That is exactly what happened to my heart last year.  Matthew did break my heart, and because of it my heart is bigger and fuller and able to hold more love.

 

I Had an Affair. . .

No, it wasn’t with Tiger Woods!!  But with all of the revelations coming out (and who knows what is real and what isn’t), I can’t help but think of those women and what was going on with them.  You see I can relate.

Yes, its true, in 1989 I met a man who I thought, wished and hoped was my soul mate and he was already taken. . . and we had an affair for many years, too many years.  It was a reflection of how little I valued myself. 

I see it now (with 20/20 hindsight) very differently than I did at the time I was experiencing it. 

At the time I was in AGONY! 

At the time I was living the role of the Victim. 

At the time I did not love myself respectfully.

I even knew he had others.  I used to ask him how many were in his “Bull Pen.” 

I thought “If only I was ____________ enough, he’d be devoted to me.”

I was the definition of insane: Taking the same action and expecting a different result. 

I am sharing this today, not because of the revelations about Tiger Woods. . . but rather so you can reflect on how You are VALUING YOURSELF.

What do You REALLY WANT?

What do you SAY you Want, and yet do not allow the space to RECEIVE IT?

I could not have met my soul mate while I was involved with this married man.  There was no space for him in my life.  I would not have recognized him.  I was not ready.

I had to prepare.

It is true – to have intentional love you must be PREPARED! 

I wasn’t prepared to meet this married man.  I was drawn to him like bees to honey.  I was obsessed with him – literally AND figuratively.  This was NOT Love.

Wherever you might be with your relationship with yourself it is possible for YOU to HAVE IT ALL! 

I know this because I lived it.  I transformed my life.  I went from Victim to Victoria!

In matters of the heart, we want to follow our heart.  Fill your heart with LOVE.  Self-Love.  Take the best possible care of YOU.  Have the relationship you wish from another with Yourself.

Listen to your deepest desire and take ACTION toward that result.  Do not settle for less.  YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!

It starts with evaluating your relationship with You.  Pay attention to how you treat yourself and if you are not sure, look at how the people closest to you are treating you – they are simply a mirror for what is going on inside.

Look at the questions in our previous post.  How are you treating yourself every day?  Is it loving and supportive?   

If you truly want to have LOVE in your life – the Real Deal – then create that feeling in your life currently.

My life changed dramatically when I told Mr. Married to lose my phone number and forget my name.  I meant it.  I moved on. 

There was a time that I thought I had given Mr. Married the best years of my life.  Now I am living the BEST YEARS of my life with my Beloved.

You can have this too.