Free Articles

5 Steps to Manifesting Your Soul Mate

If you desire true soul partnership, there is a clear path to finding that special person.  Follow this blueprint and you will surely find love:

1.   Let go of the past.  

Forgive yourself, forgive the other people who have betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed you.  Discover what the lesson was for you to learn, be grateful to have that knowledge and experience and move on!  When we are focused on past hurts and disappointments then we are choosing our current mates based on what we don’t want.  Your last boyfriend cheated?  You better make sure the next one is honest and faithful.  This way of thinking will keep you in that old pattern.  Learn from the past, forgive and move on.  Finding your soul mate is about what your heart truly desires.

2.  Treat yourself how you wish to be treated.  

There is no wiggle room here.  If what you desire is respectful love, then you must be giving that love to yourself.  Embrace all the parts of you – the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  You must be willing to give yourself the same love and acceptance that you are looking for in your mate. When you embrace this then you become available for the love you most desire.  This also means that you live your life the same way you would if you already had what you desired.  So many people put off living fully until the right conditions are in place.  Besides, living your life this way will most likely put you in places where you will meet that person who shares your likes, interests, lifestyle, etc.

3.  Be committed to your personal and spiritual growth.  

Whatever your spiritual path may be, commit to it fully.  This is your path to wholeness.  Only by becoming whole yourself will you attract another whole person.  In relationship, water seeks its own level – if you want a Soul Mate, do the work to move forward on your journey and you will surely meet your partner along the way.

4.  Make a list of qualities that you want your partner to have.  

Be very specific.  Focus on values, personality traits and internal qualities, not on physical traits or external qualities.  If it is important that your soul mate be successful, then focus on the qualities that made him that way, not the amount of money he makes.  You want to focus on who he is, not what he does or looks like.  Then go through the list and ask yourself: - “Do I hold/have this quality? If not, how can you cultivate it?  Then start cultivating those qualities.  Be the person you are seeking to be with.  This is not about him completing you.  One plus one does not equal one. You are complete and whole within yourself.

5.   Do not settle!

It is possible for you to have everything you want in relationship.  If what you desire is a true soul partnership then the Law of Polarity says that you would not have the desire if it wasn’t possible for that desire to be fulfilled.  Keep your eye on the prize!  When you waste time with someone who is not what you truly desire, then you are telling the universe that you don’t really want a soul mate.  You are telling the universe that you don’t deserve a soul mate.  And you are cheating yourself and the man you are with.  Stop wasting time with good enough, and go for what is in your heart’s desire!

Here’s a question from Shatz that we feel is so common that we’d like to start a discussion around it…

“Hi first let me say, I love your articles and I use your suggestions an awful lot:)
I just wanted to know one thing I read your article this morning and it was me totally because, I have had very unhealthy relationships in the past. physically,mentally, verbally, sexually abused I work on all of this everyday and try my best to not get triggered when my boyfriend has nothing to do with any of this, He is the most healthiest relationship we have both ever had..But I do get triggered and I remember one time he said, I am not I'll use bob that floored me..I took a step back hurt somewhat and he was right that was a trigger of my past. my question is how do i communicate that with him? I know its not my past relationship but being hurt with words so many times I just can't seem to help my self...please help”

Here’s our answer:

We are thrilled to hear that you are using our tools and that you are in a healthy relationship currently. All of us have past experiences that affect our behavior.  This is such a powerful question because HOW do we separate what is happening NOW vs. what occurred in the PAST.

It is important to communicate how you feel in the moment by following our template:

I feel ___________.
When you _____________.
Can we please ______________?

When you are triggered in the moment, take a deep breath.  Look at your partner.  Communicate your FEELINGS in that moment.  

When you use the template above, you are not only taking responsibility for your feelings, you are offering a resolution.  Sometimes the “Can we please…” can be “Would you please…” if you wish to ask something of your partner to assist you.

We know that when the emotion is out of proportion to the current situation that can be a clue that you’ve been triggered by past events.

The key is to realize that you are the one who is responsible for your feelings, not anyone else.  You have to take that responsibility in how you communicate with your partner.  That is the power in the script we’ve provided.  

Now he may or may not respond the way that you want him to and once again that is not your responsibility.  As long as you are communicating in a way that is not attacking or accusing then you can allow him to react without taking it personally.

Here is an easy way to define it for yourself:  When someone has a problem with you it is their problem.  When you have a problem with someone it is your problem.  

You’ve already acknowledged that you are being triggered because of your past history.  He is also doing the same.  Taking responsibility means owning that this is your stuff coming up and doing some introspection about the source of the reaction, reminding yourself that he is a different person, and getting to the root of the emotional reaction.

Does it come from a need for control or security?  Maybe it comes from a need to be approved of? Or abandonment?  When you realize what the issue really is, then you can begin to break the emotional trance.

Bring yourself into the present moment by becoming aware of the room around you.  Literally “come to your senses” by noticing the colors, feeling your feet on the floor, becoming aware of the sounds going on around you and as you do that ask yourself some questions.

In this moment do I need to be in control?  Do I need to be more secure?  In this moment do I need to approved of?  You may find that in this moment you are secure, you are in control and you are approved of.  Doing this can allow you to let go of the emotional trance and come into the present moment.  Doing this consistently can allow you to break the pattern of the old reaction.

The beautiful thing about communicating how you feel AUTHENTICALLY is that you and your partner do not need to Agree – if you are BOTH AUTHENTIC that is the KEY to real communication, intimacy and where True MAGIC happens.  

Please keep us informed on how this process works for You.

Love and Abundance,
Orna and Matthew

Self-Acceptance is the Key to Feeling Loved

 

Which one of these scenarios best describes your experience in relationships?

 

1.  You always find yourself needing to please your partner.  Constantly putting their needs ahead of yours, you find that at times you feel resentful wondering when all of your selfless action will be recognized and reciprocated.  You wish your partner would be able to anticipate your needs as well as you anticipate theirs.  Ultimately, all of this leads to you constantly twisting into a pretzel to receive love.

 

2.  You feel like you’ve been duped in your relationship.  You thought you knew who your partner was until you made that deeper commitment and everything changed.  Suddenly your partner has different opinions than you and begins to express them.  This person is no longer  interested in doing the things that you did during your courtship.  In fact it may seem like you’ve married or moved in with a completely different person.

 

3.  You are extremely attracted to people who reject you.  It seems that the more you are told that you are not right for that person, the more you want to prove them wrong.  You may even begin a process of changing who you are in order to become more like what you think that person wants.  When you meet someone who is attracted to you and likes you for who you are, you are not interested in that person.  You may even feel that person is not worthy of being with you as it would be too easy to start a relationship with them.  You prefer a challenge and like the chase, but lose interest when you get the prize.

 

These may seem like completely different scenarios, but they all point to a common problem – a lack of self-acceptance.  In the first scenario the person lacks an ability to see their needs as valuable.  When we seek approval outside of ourselves we find ourselves twisting into pretzels.  We often think “What shape can I assume that will make me attractive to you?”  This is a game of rejecting who we are and hoping that the new shape we assume will be loveable.  When what we really need to do is to learn to accept all of our qualities, both good and bad, and by finding that acceptance then we can be authentic in relationship with others.

 

In the second scenario the partner in the relationship isn’t purposefully deceiving their partner.  Instead, this is caused by someone thinking that it is not okay or safe to be themselves until they get that deeper commitment from you.  They finally relax and allow their true self to be revealed to you.  This is not usually a conscious choice to deceive you.  It happens because that person does not believe that you would love them for who they really are.  That person lacks a sense of self-acceptance.

 

In the last scenario the problem lies with a sense of worthiness and an inability to receive.  This person seeks that rejection because that is what they feel inside.  Often times when they are in relationship with the person who does love them for who they are, they will sabotage the relationship to prove that they were not worthy of receiving love and acceptance.  The desire to prove themselves worthy to the person who rejects them is really a desire to prove to themselves that they are worthy.

 

Why is self-acceptance so important in your relationships?  Because how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself - self-judgment, self-criticism, etc - effects your ability to be authentic in relationship.  The belief is that if you show your true self you will not be loved.  The problem is if you don’t ever show your true self, then you can never be loved for who you really are.

 

Another problem that arises in relationship that comes from a lack of self-acceptance is that we begin to judge our partner’s behavior and become critical of them.  If it is true that all judgment is self-judgment, then when we are so annoyed by our partner’s behavior we can ask ourselves “Is this a reflection of a fault within my character?”

 

Only by knowing what we truly need to be happy, what we truly need in order to nurture ourselves, can we feel comfortable asking our partners to love us in the way we truly can receive love.  It is in the search for self-acceptance, that all parts of us are worthy of being loved, that we begin to learn to love ourselves.  When we love ourselves it becomes easy to ask for what we want, it becomes easy to enforce our boundaries, and it becomes easy to receive the love we most desire.  That love is what “true love” is all about.

 

 

Spa Luce Presents

Orna Banarie & Matthew Walters, C.Ht.

 

They will show You HOW to Create Love On Purpose!

Tuesday, August 18th 7:00pm
$10.00 (all monies donated to Sojourn Shelter for Battered Women)

Orna Banarie and Matthew Walters, C.Ht. and are known as THE Power Couple.  Why?  Orna is a manifestation coach and the GPS for Your Soul.  Matthew is a transformational spiritual teacher and the co-founder of DownloadsForChange.com.  Together they have created a soul partnership and want to share that process with You.

It took Orna and Matthew over 20 years to find each other and they want to share the journey with You so You can create harmonious relationships.  Orna and Matthew are willing to share their stories with you because if it is possible for them, then it is possible for anyone.  And that means it is possible for YOU!

**This is for anyone who is seeking to create the relationship they most desire.  Whether you are in a relationship, have been in a relationship, or want to be in a relationship you will benefit greatly from this work.**

•    Understand why you get the results you get in relationships now
•    Discover the system for breaking your negative patterns
•    Know the one thing you must have in relationship that you must not sacrifice
•    The most important key element in any successful partnership
•    Find out how you can transform your relationship with yourself so that you can undeniably feel loved.

Spa Luce
Renaissance Hollywood Hotel at Hollywood and Highland Center
1755 N Highland Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90028-4403
(323) 491-1376