Are you looking to change your patterns of dating emotionally unavailable toxic men? Do you want to create a healthy masculine and feminine dynamic with your man? Can you recognize a man with healthy masculine energy? Understanding the difference between positive and negative masculine traits will help you be more discerning in your dating, and give you a guide for creating lasting love.
In a healthy relationship, there is a balance of masculine and feminine energy that compliments each other. Both men and women have masculine energy and feminine energy, however, one of those energies tends to be more dominant in each person. Masculine energy is not exclusive to men nor is feminine energy exclusive to women.
In today’s modern world, many women are more comfortable in their masculine energy as they are focused on their careers and life goals. Many men have relaxed into their feminine energy in response. While this type of relationship can work for some people (a more masculine woman with a more feminine man), over time most women find it to be stressful and unfulfilling.
A man who is comfortable with his masculinity can provide a solid emotional foundation allowing a woman to relax into her feminine energy. She will experience feeling safe in the relationship allowing intimacy to blossom. If you would like to fully express your feminine energy, look for a man who is comfortable and confident in his masculinity.
What Is Masculine Energy?
Masculine energy is the part of you that is goal-directed, assertive, focused, and action-oriented. It is focused more on doing than on being. Most people are using their masculine energy when they are at work and accomplishing goals.
Masculine energy is not about how physically strong a man is or how stoic. It is how a man carries himself and treats the women in his life. Healthy masculinity is about respect and integrity. It is the trunk that anchors the tree into the ground, allowing the leaves to dance in the wind.
What About Toxic Masculinity?
Masculinity has been misunderstood and vilified recently because of unhealthy or toxic expressions of masculine energy. Toxic masculinity is focused on power and control. It wants to hold power over others and to control the feminine. Healthy masculine energy is focused on developing inner power and strength and controlling the self not others.
Toxic masculinity rejects expressions of the feminine in men. It focuses on a certain stoicism and shows contempt for emotional expression. Suppressing emotions, except for anger, is viewed as a sign of strength. Healthy masculine expression sees strength in the ability to be vulnerable, and values empathy and compassion over callousness or anger.
Toxic masculinity puts value on physical strength and the ability to dominate others. It can lead to expressions of violence against perceived weaknesses in others. It is a world where power equals respect. Healthy masculinity finds power in stillness and kindness. It focuses on the respect of equals, not in domination.
When boys are pressured to be more like a man by hiding their feelings, or when they believe they have to be tough to be respected, or when they view the feminine as weak, then they develop the behaviors and strategies of the toxic male.
How do you identify the difference between healthy masculine energy or toxic masculinity?
It’s most important to focus on what you desire to create, so in order to draw your attention toward healthy masculine energy, the kind that can inspire true love to grow, here are 7 different kinds.
7 Kinds Of Healthy Masculine Energy That Inspires True Love To Grow
Healthy Masculinity Is Comfortable With Vulnerability
It takes real strength and confidence to show someone your true feelings. Healthy masculinity embraces authentic expression and knows that vulnerability comes from inner strength.
Your man needs to be able to open his heart to you and reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. He knows that showing his emotional weaknesses doesn’t make him weak. Instead, it creates the opportunity for deeper connection and creates trust in the relationship.
Look for a man who is in touch with his emotional life and has the ability to open up to you. He may not always have the language or wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he will be able to tell you how he feels when it is important.
Healthy Masculine Energy Is Grounded
A man who is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is will inspire you to feel grounded and safe. Imagine that the masculine is the trunk of the tree and the feminine is the smaller branches, the leaves, and the flowers. A strong trunk supports the branches and leaves to dance in the wind and nurtures the flowers to bloom.
Grounded masculine energy gives you space to fully express your femininity. He is supportive of your emotional side and doesn’t feel threatened by your passion and intensity. He appreciates how you soften him and connect him to his own feelings.
This is best expressed by watching two ballroom dancers. The male in the dance supports the female. He leads and holds the female as she beautifully twirls and turns around him. This dance of the masculine and feminine allows for the strengths of both partners to be expressed and to be in harmony with one another.
Healthy Masculinity Wants To Provide For You And Make You Happy
A man who is comfortable in his masculinity knows that his happiness comes from making you happy. He wants to provide the things you need to thrive. This doesn’t mean that he needs to be the breadwinner or sole financial support. He can provide through his ability to take care of things that you either don’t want to do or can’t do. He can provide emotional support and encouragement for you to pursue your career.
As long as he knows that his support brings you joy, he will be willing to give you what you need. He will be willing to honor your requests and work to meet your needs.
His power is his ability to please you and create an environment where you feel safe and taken care of. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful in your own right. A man who is confident in his masculinity won’t feel threatened by a woman who is more successful than him. He will want to support you in creating your dreams alongside you.
Healthy Masculine Energy Embodies Integrity
Do his words match his actions? Does he take responsibility when he makes a mistake? Can he apologize when necessary? These traits come from a man who is living with integrity and comfortable with his masculinity. He is not afraid to be imperfect and will show you his weaknesses.
Integrity is key to living with healthy masculinity. It requires inner strength and confidence to live up to your values and beliefs. A man who is constantly swayed by those around him isn’t grounded in his own truth.
Defensiveness and blame-shifting are qualities of a man who isn’t confident in himself.
Integrity requires that you take responsibility for your actions. No one is perfect but everyone has the ability to fix their mistakes and apologize when they haven’t lived up to their standards.
Healthy Masculine Energy Leads But Is Not Rigid
When a man takes charge in a relationship that means that he knows what he wants and is willing to take action to get it. He will ask you out in advance. He wants to claim you and take you off the market and ask for exclusivity.
However, this does not mean that he is so single-minded in his actions that he isn’t able to respond and change course when he is given feedback. Toxic masculinity sees things only one way – his way. Healthy masculinity is able to adjust and change course when necessary.
Does he try to bulldoze you or overwhelm you with his love? Or is he curious to discover what you desire? Look for a man who knows what he wants and is flexible in his approach to getting it. Ideally, each of you defers to one another’s strengths to create a strong bond.
Healthy Masculinity Asks For And Accepts Help
A man who is confident in his masculinity knows that he doesn’t always have the answer. He is willing to accept help and may even actively seek out help. He knows that there is more strength in a team than there is in going it alone.
Your man may struggle and strive to solve his problems on his own, but he will also know when he can’t do it alone. He won’t be afraid to ask for help and has no fear he’ll be perceived as weak when asking for assistance because he knows it takes true strength to admit needing help.
Is your man able to ask your opinion or help? Does he have mentors or friends that he can rely on? Does he read the instructions before he tries to put together the furniture you just bought from Ikea? A man who can ask for help is confident in who is and willing to admit what he doesn’t know.
Healthy Masculinity Isn’t Obsessed With Being Right
The need to be right is an unhealthy masculine trait. The desire to get it right is a healthier expression of masculine energy. Whether he is trying to please you, working to express his own feelings, or achieve a goal in his life, a man who is comfortable in his masculinity wants to get it right. He also knows that he isn’t always right.
A man comfortable in his masculinity is willing and able to give credit where credit is due, not obsessed with taking all the credit himself. He will strive to get things right and easily admit when he is wrong.
Look for these healthy masculine traits when you are dating. Encourage your man to step into his masculine by relaxing into your feminine energy and inspiring him to step up and lead. Ultimately, you’ll find that you are happier and more relaxed in your relationships and able to trust the man you are with.
If you are looking to break your patterns of dating unavailable or toxic men, download our special report, “7 Steps To Soulmating™.” You’ll receive our revolutionary approach to creating the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love that you desire.
Orna and Matthew Walters are TV’s favorite dating and relationship experts. They uncover subconscious blocks to love so that you can select an ideal partner to share your life with. Follow them on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.