This week’s question comes from Maggie:
“Hello Orna and Matthew,
I believe I am destined to be alone.
I am alone in this world and I am going to be that way for the rest of my life. I have been told by some very good psychics that I made a life contract that is solid, and I am not to have a love partner this lifetime. The only glimmer of hope and the reason for this email is that a few of the psychics said there is someone waiting for me. If that is true, then I want to meet him.
Over the years I have tried to change my contract as some psychics have said it was possible. I meditate and believe in a higher power and the power of our inner beings to guide us. Up until now I haven’t seen any results from my efforts, and I know I need more help.
It would be such a miracle if I could meet my life partner and be able to go through life with someone by my side. It does seem unreal that I chose to have no love in this life.
My question is what can I do to finally meet my soulmate? It warms my heart every time I see someone fall in love. I can imagine how much more powerful my work would be if I too had a life partner. Being alone and knowing that I am going to be alone is sooo tough.
I have been reading your and your client’s stories for over a year and I finally have the courage to email you. My life has gotten to the point where I have to reach out and see if there is a possibility to have my life be something other than what I am experiencing.
Thank you for reading this.”
Thanks for reaching out to us and sharing your fear that you are destined to be alone. The short answer is that no, you are not destined to be alone. The love you seek is available to you.
First, we’d like to ask you an important question – How much pain do you have to be in to finally have had enough and say goodbye to this story of yours?
You Can Make The Most Profound Changes When You Are Uncomfortable
Motivation for the biggest changes in life come from difficult circumstances. Whether it is changing a career, losing weight and getting into shape, or figuring out your love life, ultimately your motivation comes from your dissatisfaction with the current situation.
Use your discomfort and frustration about your fear that you are destined to be alone as motivation for proving the psychics wrong. Tell yourself “Enough!” and commit yourself to creating the miracle of living your life with your soulmate by your side.
If you listen to famous performers and athletes when they are interviewed, so many of them recount a story of someone who didn’t believe in them as motivation for proving that person wrong. This can be a powerful force in keeping you going as you transform your limiting beliefs around love. Commit to proving to those psychics that your free will is stronger than their predictions.
Your Free Will Is The Strongest Force In The Universe
In order for you to break free of this belief that you are destined to be alone you have to know that your free will is stronger than any karma, soul contract, astrological condition, or whatever. You have the power within you to break this cycle, but you first have to stop giving your power away to these psychics and their interpretation of your fate.
A psychic or intuitive doesn’t have the power to successfully predict the future 100% of the time. The reason is because you have free will and can make a different choice or take a new action. The psychic is just reading your current energy and seeing where you would be if nothing changed. Like a train on a track, psychics see where you’re headed – nothing more, nothing less.
You are 100% responsible for where you can go in life. You need not continue down the same track.
You Are Responsible For Changing Your Life
It is so tempting to look for something outside of you – an authority, a psychic, signs from the universe, etc. – to give you the key to changing your destiny. If there were some wise sage who could grant you the wisdom you need to finally have love in your life, then you could rest easy.
But that wisdom is ultimately inside of you. You are your own authority. Part of accepting that truth is learning to trust yourself. If you are destined to be alone then there is nothing you can do. Notice how that leaves you feeling powerless. If it is true, then you might as well give up trying.
You’re not destined to be alone. You aren’t powerless to make changes in your life. You are, however, responsible for making that change – no one else can do it for you.
As you mentioned some of the psychics told you that someone is waiting for you, and some of them even told you that you can change the supposed contract. This should be more than enough information to know you are not destined to be alone.
Your Belief In Your Destiny Is Keeping You Safe
The belief that you are destined to be alone is your biggest block to having a life partner. You shared that you finally found the courage to write us. Now you need to find the courage to let go of this belief that isn’t serving you.
As long as you hold onto this belief you will be safe. You may not be as happy and content as you’d like to be, but you will be safe – and safety is the most important thing to your subconscious mind.
Your subconscious doesn’t care if you are safe and happy or safe and miserable. It just wants to keep things the same. Your subconscious mind is committed to homeostasis above all else. In order to release the belief that you are destined to be alone, you have to find the courage to stop looking for answers outside of yourself and start believing that you deserve love.
You Are Unique But You Are Not The Exception
You are not special. Not so special as to be destined to be alone in this life or in any other. You are just like everyone else. You are here on this planet in order to share your experience with another, to feel connected to another. You were born the physical embodiment of the energy of love (just like every child that has come into the world) and you deserve to be loved.
Many people write to us that they are the exception. They believe they are destined to be alone in this life and that nothing they do will change that fact. The majority of these people have usually given up because they are tired of experiencing heartbreak and loneliness. They believe that they will feel more peace if they just stop looking and release the desire for a soulmate.
You clearly haven’t given up or you wouldn’t have reached out to us. So take the glimmer of hope you have and grow it. Start taking actions that will change your fate and release the belief that you are destined to be alone.
Your Beliefs Shape Your Experiences
One of the reasons that these psychics have had such a profound effect on you is that there is a part of you that sees some truth in what they are telling you. You’ve clearly had struggles in your relationships, or you wouldn’t have been reaching out to psychics in the first place.
Then when you hear that you are destined to be alone, it touches on a wound and you feel the “truth” of what you are being told. Your subconscious provides you with examples from your past and it reinforces the belief. And you are now stuck in a loop of belief/evidence/reinforced belief/more evidence and so on.
It’s a cycle that is present in your life and it is shaping your experiences, however it is not the be-all and end-all.
Discover The Source Of Your False Beliefs
In order to break this pattern you need to discover the source of this belief that you are unlike everyone else on the planet and destined to be alone. Begin looking for the source by examining your childhood.
All of the psychics you’ve seen are simply reading your energy and embedded inside of you is this belief system. Root out the belief that you are destined to be alone like a weed in a garden. Pull it up from the underground and shine it in the light where you can see it for the falsehood that it is.
Just like in the Wizard Of Oz, Dorothy discovers that The Wizard has no real powers and is just a man behind the curtain. And like Dorothy you will also discover that you have the power to create your own destiny.
When you were born you were just like any other child who came into this world – you were the physical embodiment of the energy of love. You didn’t have any limiting beliefs about love. You gave love freely and you received love openly.
And like all children you grew to discover that love was conditional in some way. And that in order to get the love you wanted you had to take on certain beliefs, strategies, and behaviors. Very quickly this system became part of your understanding of how love works for you.
We call this system Your Love Imprint® and it includes your limiting beliefs, your mental and emotional patterns, and your strategies for giving and receiving love. Your Love Imprint is what is driving your behavior in how you approach dating and relating. It is the core wound from childhood that needs to be transformed in order to release the limiting belief that you are destined to be alone.
Change Your Patterns, Change Your Destiny
Healing your childhood wounds will allow you to let go of the emotional charge you’ve been carrying with the belief that you are destined to be alone. Meditating and looking for guidance are useful tools on your journey, but the deeper work of healing is what will change your outcome and experiences.
You have an emotional story about love that is not serving you. We don’t call it a story to diminish your experience as much to encourage you to understand that you’ve created the meaning out of past events. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it. It’s very likely you assigned meaning to events from your childhood that led you to determine you are destined to be alone. Now as a grown woman you can reassign new meanings that serve you to create what you desire – a life partner!
The past doesn’t have to be a predictor of what the future will bring. But to change your destiny, you ultimately need to change your inner beliefs and triggers.
If you would like our guidance in changing your love and relationship patterns, join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session. We’ll give you a custom plan for changing your destiny along with the tools to create the long-lasting, soul-satisfying love you desire.
Orna and Matthew Walters are TV’s favorite dating and relationship experts. They uncover subconscious blocks to love so that you can select an ideal partner to share your life with. Follow them on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.