This week's question comes from Nicole:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’m reaching out today after many years of listening to you both on your webinars and reading your blog and I’m starting to think that I have a problem that I cannot solve on my own.
It seems that no matter how interested I am at the beginning, I end up deciding that whoever I’m dating is not “The One” for me. Sometimes this happens very quickly, and sometimes it takes a few months.
I haven’t had a significant relationship for over a decade and I’m starting to worry that I’ll never find him, or I’ve already passed him over because of something that I’m doing wrong.
All of my friends are paired off now and I’m the last one standing as single. My life is full and I really do like and love myself so I don’t think that’s the problem.
Is it possible to be TOO PICKY? That’s what my brother says.
Thanks for reaching out and we value you as part of our Love On Purpose Community.
If you’re quick to eliminate every guy as not the right one, our question for you is, “How long do you want to keep doing that?”
It sounds to us like you’re protecting yourself and acting out a preemptive strike to avoid being rejected.
Perhaps you have an unrealistic high expectation of self and so your self-judgment spills over from you onto whomever you’re currently dating and you decide he is not good enough, when it’s really YOU.
Are you hard on yourself expecting that you’ll be PERFECT in all you do?
Judgment is the #1 most insidious block to love!
If you aren’t even good enough for you – how will any man ever measure up?
At its root all judgment is self-judgment. When we hold ourselves to an unrealistic expectation, it can be difficult to be forgiving of other’s mistakes. When we are judgmental of another person and his behavior, it usually is because we are judging ourselves.
We wouldn’t say that you are being too picky. It is more that you are being too rigid. Too rigid on yourself and therefore too rigid with the men you meet.
The only way to release judgment is through compassion.
We are all doing the best we can with the resources we have. Sometimes we are not very resourceful and our behavior is not our best. This is part of being human.
If you are a human and you desire to be in a relationship with another human then finding compassion and forgiveness for yourself and your partner will go a long way to creating lasting love.
We believe that it is the love we have for ourselves that is reflected back to us in our Beloveds eyes. We don’t get love from another person. We share love with another person.
Cultivating compassion will allow you to grow the love you have for yourself and therefore increase your ability to receive more love from your partner.
Our home-study program will support you in creating a more loving relationship with yourself – one free from judgment and that unrealistic expectation that you be perfect so you can create lasting-love with the man who is an ideal match for you.
The Science Of Creating Love™ in an in-depth home-study program that is ideal for you if you are on a budget and want access to our world-famous processes that remove subconscious blocks to love – including judgment.
This 7-module course includes our core work with our private clients allowing you to release negative emotions from your past relationships that free you to love yourself and others more fully.
If your goal is to love like you’ve never been hurt then get started right away by clicking here. The Science Of Creating Love™ is 100% digital so you can get started right away, even if it’s 2:30am.
We are here to be your guides to love!
Love and Abundance,