This week's question comes from Christina:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
I am approaching 45 and starting to really worry that I won’t ever meet “The One.” I’m divorced and to be honest, I do not like to date. I’ve been a serial monogamist my whole life and I feel like dating is something that feels superficial and icky.
Is there hope for me? How do I change the way I feel about going on dates? Or is there another way?
Doing my best to be hopeful!
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Hi Christina,
Thank you for your direct question and for asking for our advice. The truth is that dating is a tool that can be used efficiently if you know how to use the tool. This is true of online and offline
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How do I release the fear of “being found out”?
This week's question comes from Lissa:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I've been following you guys for a few months now and really love your advice. One thing has come up for me recently. I've become aware that I have a fear of "being found out." What I mean is that when I'm in a relationship I have this fear that I will not live up to the expectations of my partner and at some point they will be disappointed in/by me and not love me any more. What can I do to release this fear?
Thanks!
Dear Lissa,
Thanks for your question. This fear of "being found out" is actually fairly common. Many of us have an underlying belief that we are not worthy of receiving love
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What are the rules of control?
This week's question comes from Karen:
Dear Orna & Matthew,
What do you think about a woman calling a man? Then pulling back? I'm in the first month of a really nicely smoothly moving along friendship with a man. Taking things slow. Almost too slow but I'm okay with it. He is 58, I'm 45. Not younguns....want to be smart about this and not push him away as I've done with all my others. I get very eager and want to control. So what is your opinion on texting, phone calls, inviting a man over......I have read the Rules 50,000 times.....and in one night of reading your book I so see where I've done wrong. The rules made me feel like I was being mean, not taking care
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Friends With Benefits?
This week's question comes from Pauline:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I know you give the best dating advice so I hope you can help me…
I was dating a man for over 12 months and I often asked him if we were 'ok' as sometimes he was responsive and loving, yet other times, I couldn't even get him to reply to an sms. During the times when he couldn't even look at me when talking, it gave me a reason to feel insecure. A few weeks ago he told me he wasn't 'in love' with me, but had a love for me. We continued seeing each other until Dec 30. I couldn't help but ask how we were and where our relationship was headed, if anywhere. I pretty much pushed him to make a decision i.e.
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How do I stop self-criticism?
This week's question comes from Tricia:
"Dear Orna & Matthew,
I discovered your existence a few weeks ago while listening to a relationship podcast. Everything you say makes so much sense to me. I've been trying very hard these last six months to deal with my past so that I can have the life I want. My career is going better than ever and although I feel I accept and love myself, well, at least more than I used to, I still find insecurities creeping in.
I grew up in a home with a withdrawn father and a stressed out, frazzled, and overworked mother. I didn't get a lot of attention from my parents and ended up being like a second parent to my younger siblings
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Do powerful women intimidate men?
This week's question comes from Alison:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
Recently I had something happen to me that has me perplexed and concerned about my love life. A male friend of mine who I respect gave me some feedback about why I seem to struggle finding quality men.
He said that he thought I was a powerful female and that most men are intimidated by me, including him!
While I am not loud, or a vexation to the spirit, I was shocked to learn that this is how I occur to others as I see myself as very shy especially when not in my comfort zone. My question now is, 'How do I soften without loosing my ability to speak up when necessary?'
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Hi
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