This week's question comes from Carrie:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
After years of bad relationships (including an ugly divorce in my 20's), I just decided one day to stop the madness! And I took some time for myself and really stopped dating. Now, I've been single for several years and I feel good on my own, really good. I don't need someone to complete me or anything like that. I've taken some time to check in with myself and keep asking myself what do I want and I DO want to share my life with someone. I've done everything I can think of in terms of working on myself and my guy is still not here. What am I supposed to do? I'm not impatient but I keep wondering where is
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How can I be more social?
This week's question comes from Lee Ann:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
My last relationship ended almost 4 months ago. I'm finding that I have a strong tendency and desire to isolate. I feel really good when I'm completely alone with no demands on me, or pressure to do or be anything other than what and where I am at that time. And when the tough feelings come up, I'm able to be completely with them right away and love myself. When I go out to the store or for a walk, I'm happy to see people and smile, and it feels like I'm in a relaxed place of peace. But I'm worried that this isolating tendency with no desire to plan social get-togethers or go out socially isn't good for
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Why do I take his behavior personally?
This week's question comes from Clare:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you so much for all your work on the subject of love. I read your notes regularly and have been working on my blocks for some years now. I have recognized some of my dating patterns and have become more conscious of my feelings.
3 months ago I met a wonderful guy. A connection we both cherished and appreciated. However in the last week there seems to be a shift. We've had little 'discussions' about household chores: he's very set in his ways and I have spoken about this and he is aware of it. He is positive with this and says we need to evolve together as we are learning about each other.
I
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Why do victims of abuse choose abusers?
This week's question comes from CJ:
"Hi! I want to know if you can help me understand something. Why is it that being abused in your life helps you choose people that have abusive tendencies? And how do you get yourself to a place where you can find happiness and comfort?"
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Dear CJ,
Thank you for coming forward to ask for help in understanding why this happens. We learn to receive love at a very young age. And as we grow older how we learned to receive love becomes what our subconscious mind identifies as “love.”
The subconscious doesn’t have the ability to judge, it simply identifies what is Known and what is Unknown.
When we are raised in an
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How do I move on from a cheater?
This week's question comes from Patricia:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
Your Newsletter is such a blessing to me. You give the best dating advice. Thank you and God bless you for all the great work you do.
My question is how do you move on when you have loved someone for years and he has left me again (the 4th time). I am a forgiving person and always make excuses for his cheating behavior. I am 55 years old and sometimes I feel I cannot find anyone now. Also he was my first boyfriend 30 years ago. After my first husband died, he came back in my life. Sorry for writing so much but I want you to understand how much I am attached to him.
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Dear Patricia,
Thank
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How Do I Let Go of Fear of Abandonment?
This week's question comes from V:
"Hi Orna & Matthew! I'm pretty new to Love On Purpose but I really appreciate your Love Notes Weekly! I've been divorced over 2 years and have been dating the same guy for about 7 months; someone who is spiritual and completely different than my ex. (He's truly a good man. I do realize not all men will up and leave in a relationship.) I rode my roller coaster ride of emotions after my ex left and thought I was doing really well and moving on with my life and started dating again. Recently I found out that I have abandonment issues, which in turn caused me to also have jealousy issues. My ex-husband up and left me
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