This week's question comes from Milike:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
Whenever I start being more intimate in a relationship and want to get more connected and more intimate they leave me without a real reason. I know that they like me but they don't want to have a relationship. Maybe I don't see the red flags maybe I'm not in my feminine energy (I am working on that).
I have a question if you can answer. I think I feel not good enough, not worthy of love and I don't trust the flow of the relationship. My father wasn't there for me to solve my problems and show me the solutions when I was a child; my mother was doing that for me. I don't know if this is the reason but what I want to ask is it possible to break the pattern by trying to believe that the men I meet are trustworthy, reliable, and always there for me whenever I need? The men I meet always want to commit to me. Is it possible to change a subconscious belief consciously?
Thank you for your support and great work.
Thank you for your question and we are thrilled that you’re looking to your family of origin and your relationship with your parents as the foundation for your current blocks to love.
Your beliefs create your reality. If you believe that you are worth loving, then you will experience loving relationships. If you think that men are not trustworthy, then you will find more experiences that prove that you are right.
Thinking positively will not change a subconscious belief.
If your house is in foreclosure and you are declaring bankruptcy walking around saying, “I am an excellent money manager!” will do nothing to change your situation.
The bottom line is that you cannot lie to yourself.
What you BELIEVE to be true for you is what will be mirrored back to you through the outside world.
Finding out WHY you don’t trust men will simply give you information about why you don’t trust men. It will not change the fact that you don’t trust them.
To change the belief so that you can trust a man with your heart requires that you have a transformative experience.
It wouldn’t serve you to trust ALL men, as all men are not trustworthy.
The deep inner work that we are skilled at doing with our clients chips away at these types of limiting beliefs. We call this “Process Work” or utilizing the “Tools Of Transformation.”
As human beings we are complex, we are not wired like the light-switch on the wall with an On and Off position only. You likely have a system of these limiting beliefs that have you selecting men that prove to you over and over again that your beliefs are correct and true.
What we mean by “selecting” is that these men are highlighted for you. There’s a charge on them. You find them attractive.
The solution is not to go out with men that you are not attracted to. Yuck! Attraction is part of the equation that must be present to select a good match.
Unfortunately, too many people mistake attraction as something good, when a lot of chemistry can be what we call a Love Imprint Match™ and that chemistry and attraction is actually a warning sign!
This is the Do-It-Yourself program for discovering and transforming Your Love Imprint®. This digital program comes with PDF, Audio, and Workbook so you can identify the blocks and patterns keeping you from the love you want and some powerful tools for transforming them all on your own.
To Learn more about The Soulmate Shortcut™ click here.
We are here to be your guides to love!
Love and Abundance,