This week's question comes from Kate:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I am reaching out to you because I love how you give straight up answers every single week to all the people who write to you. I really think you give the best dating advice for people who want soul level love, like me!
I really want an authentic connection with someone who really gets me, and yet that is not at all what I find out in the world. I’ve been divorced and dating for the last 5 years and it seems like I end up with guys who show up at the beginning and then they just disappear, or they tell me they’re not looking for a relationship. I’m feeling really frustrated with dating in general and I
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Blocks to Love
Dating 911 – I deselect everyone!
This week's question comes from Nancy:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Calling Dating 911…. Help me put out this fire… that is burning a hole in my heart.
How do I stop this constant screening in my mind of a guy the minute I see a guy flirt or take an interest in me? I think this tearing people apart the minute I see someone or something happening that I don’t like is hurting my chances for great guys to get into my world or me in theirs.
Honestly, I just want a great guy BUT, I scrutinize the heck out of anyone as my time is too valuable to be hanging with the takers, mushers, needy and lesser, etc.
MY QUALITY TIME IS THE MOST INVALUABLE ASSET more than anything
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What it takes to remove blocks to love…
This week's question comes from Annette:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really like your direct approach in how you answer these questions every week. I must admit I’m a bit addicted to reading your blog. By far, you seem to have the best dating advice.
My question is this: What does it take to remove blocks to love?
I understand why I’m blocked. I think I have all the insights that I’ve searched for over a decade now. Unfortunately, I’m still attracting the same kind of emotionally unavailable men.
The men that I’m attracted to seem different in the beginning, yet all my relationships seem to end up at the same place in the end. At first it was the guy breaking
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Why can’t I let him go?
This week's question comes from Melanie:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really hope you can help me. I dated a man for 3 years who I really liked at the beginning. He was kind and affectionate and loving and I felt such an intense attraction to. However, as the years went on I discovered that he was emotionally unavailable. He would constantly blame me and avoid any responsibility for his behavior. I felt like he wanted to punish me by withholding love from me.
The problem is this. We broke up about 6 months ago but I can’t stop thinking about him. I know that he is not good for me but my heart keeps pulling me back.
How do I get over him? I’m exhausted and I want to
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Do I ask him out?
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really think you two are so adorable together and that you give the best dating advice. I’m curious what you’ll think about my situation…
I know this guy and I really like him. I have a membership to the museum in our town and I know he used to, but he gave up his membership. There’s a new exhibit and I am wondering if I should invite him because I have the tickets.
What do you think?"
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Hi Joyce,
Thank you for asking us what we think of you asking this guy out. You let us know that you like him… but not much else.
We are curious about the kind of relationship you want.
When you think about how you would like your intimate
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What if I’ve lost my soulmate?
This week's question comes from Sam:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I hope you can help me. I married my soulmate in 2001 we divorced in 2004 he cheated and I couldn't forget it. It took me years to date again and although I've had some relationships not one of them has fulfilled me and I feel like I've ended up back thinking about my ex husband. He comes into my dreams when I feel sad. The men I meet are takers selfish and unsupportive. Help."
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Hi Sam,
We understand you’ve been through a traumatic experience and often these experiences stick with us long after they occur. The truth is we don’t only get ONE soulmate in life.
We wouldn’t consider your
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