This week's question comes from CJ:
"Hi! I want to know if you can help me understand something. Why is it that being abused in your life helps you choose people that have abusive tendencies? And how do you get yourself to a place where you can find happiness and comfort?"
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Dear CJ,
Thank you for coming forward to ask for help in understanding why this happens. We learn to receive love at a very young age. And as we grow older how we learned to receive love becomes what our subconscious mind identifies as “love.”
The subconscious doesn’t have the ability to judge, it simply identifies what is Known and what is Unknown.
When we are raised in an
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Blocks to Love
How Do I Let Go of Fear of Abandonment?
This week's question comes from V:
"Hi Orna & Matthew! I'm pretty new to Love On Purpose but I really appreciate your Love Notes Weekly! I've been divorced over 2 years and have been dating the same guy for about 7 months; someone who is spiritual and completely different than my ex. (He's truly a good man. I do realize not all men will up and leave in a relationship.) I rode my roller coaster ride of emotions after my ex left and thought I was doing really well and moving on with my life and started dating again. Recently I found out that I have abandonment issues, which in turn caused me to also have jealousy issues. My ex-husband up and left me
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How Do I Decide If He Is Right For Me?
This week's question comes from Lisa
"Dear Orna & Matthew,
A couple of years back, I attended one of your live workshops in Santa Monica (won the tickets!). At that time I had recently ended a relationship, and your workshop was very valuable and timely.
Since that time I met a wonderful man. It's now been 9 months, and some definite issues have come up, and I'm struggling to decide whether to continue.
This person has been wonderful to me, warm-hearted and generous, has shown concern for my well-being, wants to see me succeed at my new career path, wants me around him especially when he's with family and friends, has made me feel good about myself and
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Feeling stuck… Where do I begin?
This week's question comes from Susan
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thanks so much for all the work you do and for your optimism and support.
At the moment I feel like I have just completely and totally given up hope at all, and even decided I'd be better off on my own, so much to the point that I am now so isolated that I'm scared to go anywhere. I've never been the most social of people anyway and have social anxiety which doesn't help, but this is now ridiculous. I haven't even been seeing my friends.
My last relationship was with a full-blown narcissist who was only with me to get his needs met. It was so horribly hurtful, confusing and draining. It was also very
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Will he love me if I’m sick?
This week's question comes from Tami
"Hi there Orna and Matthew!
I look forward to and love receiving your emails, thank you!
I have a question that may seem odd, but here goes anyway, haha.
I am a single woman, 50 years old, with a fun and active social life. I've, in the past made a few bad man decisions, but have learned a lot from each experience. That being said, I still have one major concern. I'm a very severe type 1 juvenile diabetic. I take very good care of myself, am a runner, play lots, and don't allow it to hold me back. However, it would be a mistake to not acknowledge the fact that at times, due to my life long chronic illness, I get sick. I just
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How can I keep having hope?
This week's question comes from Silvia
"Hello to two of the most inspiring people!
I was in a 5 year relationship with a man I loved, I thought he loved me but now I realize maybe it was not love. I could not feel like a woman in that relationship, he always needed more than me emotionally and later financially. When I expressed my needs he left and found somebody else immediately. I still have not been able to find a new partner with whom to create a more equal relationship. I have done a lot of spiritual work and still that special person does not appear. How can I keep having hope?"
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Dear Silvia,
Thank you for sharing your situation so boldly and
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