This week's question comes from Emma:
"Dear Orna and Matthew,
I love reading your notes and believe that you give the best dating advice online. I hope you can help me! I am tired of struggling to find love.
Here is my question:
Why do I fall in love so quickly when I find a man fancies me?
I skip over all the stages of examining if the man is right for me, and dive right into the stage of being in a relationship. And once I am in a relationship, I just get too focused in it, and too ignorant to other parts of my life instantly. I need help."
---
Dear Emma,
Thanks for reaching out to us. We want you to know you are not alone. We hear from many
Read More
Get Ready for Love
Have I met my Soulmate?
This week's question comes from Arminda:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
How do you know when you have found your soulmate? Because, I have met a guy who really made my world turn around, but I do not know if I had caused the same feeling on him and I am feeling a bit frustrated, for not getting much of a response from him.
---
Dear Arminda,
This is a great question and one we feel very passionate about. Let’s start with the soulmate part. We are of the belief that we don’t have just one soulmate.
Soulmate love is as much a choice as it is fate.
The universe would be a very cruel place to just put one soulmate out of billions here on Earth and expect us to
Read More
What If I Don’t Like Dating?
This week's question comes from Christina:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
I am approaching 45 and starting to really worry that I won’t ever meet “The One.” I’m divorced and to be honest, I do not like to date. I’ve been a serial monogamist my whole life and I feel like dating is something that feels superficial and icky.
Is there hope for me? How do I change the way I feel about going on dates? Or is there another way?
Doing my best to be hopeful!
---
Hi Christina,
Thank you for your direct question and for asking for our advice. The truth is that dating is a tool that can be used efficiently if you know how to use the tool. This is true of online and offline
Read More
How do I release the fear of “being found out”?
This week's question comes from Lissa:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I've been following you guys for a few months now and really love your advice. One thing has come up for me recently. I've become aware that I have a fear of "being found out." What I mean is that when I'm in a relationship I have this fear that I will not live up to the expectations of my partner and at some point they will be disappointed in/by me and not love me any more. What can I do to release this fear?
Thanks!
Dear Lissa,
Thanks for your question. This fear of "being found out" is actually fairly common. Many of us have an underlying belief that we are not worthy of receiving love
Read More
What are the rules of control?
This week's question comes from Karen:
Dear Orna & Matthew,
What do you think about a woman calling a man? Then pulling back? I'm in the first month of a really nicely smoothly moving along friendship with a man. Taking things slow. Almost too slow but I'm okay with it. He is 58, I'm 45. Not younguns....want to be smart about this and not push him away as I've done with all my others. I get very eager and want to control. So what is your opinion on texting, phone calls, inviting a man over......I have read the Rules 50,000 times.....and in one night of reading your book I so see where I've done wrong. The rules made me feel like I was being mean, not taking care
Read More
Friends With Benefits?
This week's question comes from Pauline:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I know you give the best dating advice so I hope you can help me…
I was dating a man for over 12 months and I often asked him if we were 'ok' as sometimes he was responsive and loving, yet other times, I couldn't even get him to reply to an sms. During the times when he couldn't even look at me when talking, it gave me a reason to feel insecure. A few weeks ago he told me he wasn't 'in love' with me, but had a love for me. We continued seeing each other until Dec 30. I couldn't help but ask how we were and where our relationship was headed, if anywhere. I pretty much pushed him to make a decision i.e.
Read More