This week's question comes from Mary:
"Dear Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been following you for many years and I think you give the best dating advice for women. I really appreciate how you tell it like it is and share perspectives from the male side and the female side since you are a couple.
Lately, it’s becoming clear to me that I struggle in my love life because of my parents. It’s not that they were bad parents; it’s just that they didn’t make me a priority. Each was so busy with their careers, all the kids at home, and it was more like the Von Trapp family in the Sound Of Music before Maria came along.
I would watch that movie and longed for a Maria to show up
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Topic: Heal Your Heart
When The One Isn’t Your Beloved
This week's question comes from Casey:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I am broken-hearted, the guy I've been seeing for about a year and I just broke up. I really thought he was the one. I've been married and divorced when I was much younger and I really thought I had figured out this whole relationship thing...now I feel terrible and like I don't know anything at all. Help!
---
Dear Casey,
Thank you for reaching out during this vulnerable time. Discovering that someone is not 'The One' is never fun.
First off, be sure to take good care of yourself during this time. Be kind. Spend time doing things that you love (like a bubble bath, or hiking, or visit a museum).
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How do I release the fear of “being found out”?
This week's question comes from Lissa:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I've been following you guys for a few months now and really love your advice. One thing has come up for me recently. I've become aware that I have a fear of "being found out." What I mean is that when I'm in a relationship I have this fear that I will not live up to the expectations of my partner and at some point they will be disappointed in/by me and not love me any more. What can I do to release this fear?
Thanks!
Dear Lissa,
Thanks for your question. This fear of "being found out" is actually fairly common. Many of us have an underlying belief that we are not worthy of receiving love
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How do I stop self-criticism?
This week's question comes from Tricia:
"Dear Orna & Matthew,
I discovered your existence a few weeks ago while listening to a relationship podcast. Everything you say makes so much sense to me. I've been trying very hard these last six months to deal with my past so that I can have the life I want. My career is going better than ever and although I feel I accept and love myself, well, at least more than I used to, I still find insecurities creeping in.
I grew up in a home with a withdrawn father and a stressed out, frazzled, and overworked mother. I didn't get a lot of attention from my parents and ended up being like a second parent to my younger siblings
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What’s the deal with Love Blocks?
This week's question comes from Holly:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you for all the direction and wisdom you have shared through the years. I love your newsletters! I am still perplexed as to how to find answers to more questions so I’m going to give it a go and ask them here…
Do men ever want any relationship sorta kinda close to what women ache for? And why don’t men ever try to offer any kind of love even close to what women offer? Woman are constantly "available" time & dime & energy & emotion wise so why are men consistently "unavailable" and its women’s fault?
This whole "blocks to love" talk is confusing to me. Women seem to always be wanting
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How do I forgive myself?
This week's question comes from Grace:
Hey Orna and Matthew,
I'm not sure if I'll get a reply, but I know you give the best advice and I'm in need of some expert advice after seeing your video on YouTube about forgiveness.
I can't seem to forgive myself for being with someone else when I was split from my partner. We eventually got back together but it didn’t work out and I’m convinced that it was my guilty feelings that kept me from being in it fully.
I can't believe that I could meet another man during when I was split with my partner and I'm constantly beating myself up because of it. I met up with this other man about a week after- he was just a friend at
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