This week's question comes from Sheri:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
How can I shift/release/realign the incredibly painful belief that "I'm not wanted"?! Recently I had this pain triggered again by a man that I KNOW I don’t want a relationship with when I discovered he’s in touch with another woman. I'm afraid I'm sabotaging my relationships again.
I’ve done a ton of work on this belief and I’ve become clear how I’m the one who sabotaged my past relationships because of this fear. I really feel discouraged that this belief was triggered again despite all the healing I’ve done.
Part of me feels like I will never have the kind of relationship I want. Now, I know that
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Topic: Heal Your Heart
Will I Always Feel Like I’m Broken?
This week's question comes from Ann
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
My story is rather long and complicated so I'll keep this as brief as possible. I grew up in a very dysfunctional alcoholic household. There were absolutely no boundaries. I've had lots of help and even attend a 12-step group. All this has been very helpful and it has really come down to me taking action, which has been scary. My relationships with men have been dysfunctional and it has been a slow learning process in how to have a healthy relationship much less be able to imagine one.
It seems the men I am most drawn to are into me in the beginning, we move too fast then I feel like I am tossed to the side.
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Should I get back with my ex?
This week's question comes from Lisa:
"Dear Orna and Matthew,
I hope you can help me. My ex wants to get back together with me. We've been broken up for 3 months and I've been focusing on myself, on my own healing. I'm starting to feel really good about myself. And that's the problem. He has noticed the changes I'm making and we've been getting along really well lately. I'm so confused. How do I know what to do? I still love him and I feel encouraged by the way we've been getting along. Should I get back together with him? How do I know he won't hurt me again?
Thank you for your time."
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for reaching out to us for guidance. The first question
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How Do I Stop Attracting the Wrong Man?
This week's question comes from Tami:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
Thank you so much for your work! I truly enjoy and have learned so much from your emails. I'm not dating at the moment; I'm in a bit of a self-imposed learning and recovery about my past relationships mode. When I am putting myself out there I either attract one of two kinds of men, the clingy, needy man or the player. I know… they are the opposite sides of the same coin. Both groups of these men are emotionally unavailable and very selfish. I hear you say all the time that I am the common denominator in all of my relationships… So, since I am the common denominator and the only one I can control or
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How do I learn to trust again?
This week's question comes from Cami:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
My question is how do you learn to trust again? My heart has been closed to trusting others because I’ve been through so much pain. I’ve shut down and I know I don’t want to be this way, but I find it so difficult to open up and trust. It always feels unsafe. How do I get over the fear of getting hurt if I have no support system to hold my hand while I heal myself?"
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Dear Cami,
We feel for you. It can be difficult to open yourself up again after experiencing a lot of painful situations. We understand the desire to shut down.
The place to start is with your own healing. It would be too
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How Many Licks Does It Take…
This week's question comes from Janet:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been reading your emails for a couple years now and I guess it’s time that I write you to gain some clarity. I’m highly educated, successful (I work in medical field) – I feel like I have everything in my life that I want… except my guy.
The concept you share about your love imprint has really stuck with me and I have really thought deeply about where I’m at and I just can’t seem to get a grasp on what my blocks are.
Recently, I had an ugly break up with a really great guy. I really thought things were going well, he pursued me at the beginning, and it seems that things changed a few
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