This week's question comes from Lissa:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I've been following you guys for a few months now and really love your advice. One thing has come up for me recently. I've become aware that I have a fear of "being found out." What I mean is that when I'm in a relationship I have this fear that I will not live up to the expectations of my partner and at some point they will be disappointed in/by me and not love me any more. What can I do to release this fear?
Thanks!
Dear Lissa,
Thanks for your question. This fear of "being found out" is actually fairly common. Many of us have an underlying belief that we are not worthy of receiving love
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Overcome Self Sabotage
Friends With Benefits?
This week's question comes from Pauline:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I know you give the best dating advice so I hope you can help me…
I was dating a man for over 12 months and I often asked him if we were 'ok' as sometimes he was responsive and loving, yet other times, I couldn't even get him to reply to an sms. During the times when he couldn't even look at me when talking, it gave me a reason to feel insecure. A few weeks ago he told me he wasn't 'in love' with me, but had a love for me. We continued seeing each other until Dec 30. I couldn't help but ask how we were and where our relationship was headed, if anywhere. I pretty much pushed him to make a decision i.e.
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How do I stop self-criticism?
This week's question comes from Tricia:
"Dear Orna & Matthew,
I discovered your existence a few weeks ago while listening to a relationship podcast. Everything you say makes so much sense to me. I've been trying very hard these last six months to deal with my past so that I can have the life I want. My career is going better than ever and although I feel I accept and love myself, well, at least more than I used to, I still find insecurities creeping in.
I grew up in a home with a withdrawn father and a stressed out, frazzled, and overworked mother. I didn't get a lot of attention from my parents and ended up being like a second parent to my younger siblings
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What’s the deal with Love Blocks?
This week's question comes from Holly:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you for all the direction and wisdom you have shared through the years. I love your newsletters! I am still perplexed as to how to find answers to more questions so I’m going to give it a go and ask them here…
Do men ever want any relationship sorta kinda close to what women ache for? And why don’t men ever try to offer any kind of love even close to what women offer? Woman are constantly "available" time & dime & energy & emotion wise so why are men consistently "unavailable" and its women’s fault?
This whole "blocks to love" talk is confusing to me. Women seem to always be wanting
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How do I forgive myself?
This week's question comes from Grace:
Hey Orna and Matthew,
I'm not sure if I'll get a reply, but I know you give the best advice and I'm in need of some expert advice after seeing your video on YouTube about forgiveness.
I can't seem to forgive myself for being with someone else when I was split from my partner. We eventually got back together but it didn’t work out and I’m convinced that it was my guilty feelings that kept me from being in it fully.
I can't believe that I could meet another man during when I was split with my partner and I'm constantly beating myself up because of it. I met up with this other man about a week after- he was just a friend at
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What it takes to remove blocks to love…
This week's question comes from Annette:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really like your direct approach in how you answer these questions every week. I must admit I’m a bit addicted to reading your blog. By far, you seem to have the best dating advice.
My question is this: What does it take to remove blocks to love?
I understand why I’m blocked. I think I have all the insights that I’ve searched for over a decade now. Unfortunately, I’m still attracting the same kind of emotionally unavailable men.
The men that I’m attracted to seem different in the beginning, yet all my relationships seem to end up at the same place in the end. At first it was the guy breaking
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