“Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really think you two are so adorable together and that you give the best dating advice. I’m curious what you’ll think about my situation…
I know this guy and I really like him. I have a membership to the museum in our town and I know he used to, but he gave up his membership. There’s a new exhibit and I am wondering if I should invite him because I have the tickets.
What do you think?”
Thank you for asking us what we think of you asking this guy out. You let us know that you like him… but not much else.
We are curious about the kind of relationship you want.
When you think about how you would like your intimate relationship to function – what do you see?
Do you want to be the one primarily planning the dates, paying for dates, asking for a commitment, etc.? Or would you like the man you’re dating to do these things?
Only ONE person can be in their masculine energy for a relationship to work.
This is true even with same sex couples.
Last year we had a gay friend book a VIP Day with us (which is like a one day retreat). Most of his recent struggles in creating a lasting partnership were from his ambiguity about which role he wanted in the relationship. Did he want to function primarily in his feminine or in his masculine?
Once he made a decision about what felt best for him, (determined by the coaching during his VIP Day) his entire dating strategy shifted and he has now been in an exclusive relationship with an ideal partner for the past 6 months and they are going strong!
The energetic dynamic of a relationship is most important to set up right at the start of a relationship. It’s nearly impossible to shift this once it is set up because the other person will feel like you’ve pulled a Bait And Switch.
You know, things are one way at the start of the relationship, and then suddenly your partner desires the dynamic to change. It doesn’t feel good. It’s like being sold something you didn’t actually want to buy in the first place.
Instead, decide which role you would like to have and hold that energy through the dating process.
Every man has both masculine and feminine energy, just as every woman does. This is on a dial switch… so in order to make our point we are making broad generalizations. Please forgive us – because otherwise we’d have to skip over your question and instead host a 3-day event to account for all the nuances that come into play to answer your question. 😉
There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to “be the man” in the relationship as long as that’s what she really desires.
Unfortunately, most of the women we speak with, all around the globe, find themselves falling into the role of the “man,” and then a few months into dating a guy they are waiting for him to step up – wanting the energetic dynamic to change.
If you never want to have “The Talk” – when you ask where the relationship is going, then simply do not pursue a man. Do not ask him out. Be in your feminine.
Being in your feminine energy does not mean you are passive! Not at all! In fact, being in your feminine is extremely powerful. Being in your feminine means you are the one to respond. You can choose to respond however you like. You can make requests and ask for ANYTHING!
Of course, simply asking and making a request does not mean you’ll get what you asked for… so there’s a lot to learn if you’re communication skills need some tuning up.
We cover this and a whole lot more in our DIY program – The Soulmate Shortcut™. You can pick that up here: www.TheSoulmateShortcut.com
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,