This week’s question comes from Sue:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I need your help.
We dated for 6 years; we had our ups and downs but always managed to get past them. I noticed his feelings shifting in December. He pulled back a little but we got past that and we’re making plans for the up coming months.
Then February 13 out of nowhere he ended things. I tried to get back with him but he seems totally uninterested. Just recently when I reached out he seemed to soften a bit, but still has not made any move to contact or see me.
I’m at a loss. I see him in my future but I do not know what to do, every program says I should not contact him nor should I tell him how I feel, how much he means to me.
I don’t know what the right move is.
I would really appreciate your expertise in this, I know your answers come from the heart and will guide me in the right direction.
Thank you very much.”
Thanks for reaching out to us. We hear your pain and we’ve heard many versions of this through the years from women all over the globe.
Why did he suddenly pull away?
The simple answer is that he is not willing to commit to you for life. If he wanted to, he would’ve moved things forward and asked you for a deeper commitment.
We could share tools that would bring him back, but that would be a disservice to both of you, because it would be a temporary fix to a much deeper issue.
Most people move through the SELECTION process incorrectly, relying on chemistry and attraction to pick a mate. Unfortunately, this is what we call Love By Accident.
We are sold a ridiculous myth from the moment we pop out of the womb about love – that when we meet the ‘right’ person it will all magically work out. This couldn’t be further from the truth!
In order to create soul-satisfying, long-lasting love we must cultivate a healthy discernment about HOW to select a partner.
Currently, you are experiencing the repercussions from not having the tools to select a partner that is an ideal match for you.
From here you are left no choice but to grieve and move on. The pain is only prolonged the more you think about what you could’ve done differently. It wasn’t you who ended the relationship, and so you have no choice but to honor this man’s choice in ending it.
Once you have grieved this loss, your goal is to gain the learning about how to pick a partner an entirely new way. One that puts your selection process in alignment with the kind of partner that is a match for you long-term.
Certainly, attraction and chemistry are part of the equation, however, they are by far not the determining factor for longevity in an intimate relationship.
We don’t want you to ignore chemistry either. The goal is for you to become crystal clear about the kind of relationship you desire.
Most women rush into commitment thinking they will never find another ____________ kind of man again. We left the blank open for you to fill it in because it doesn’t matter one bit what you fill the blank with no man is a unicorn.
Your ideal match is not some mythical creature that you have to hold onto at all costs because only one exists.
We know it sounds horribly un-romantic to share with you that there is more than 1 match for you in the world, but this is the Truth!
When you cultivate discernment through the dating process you grow personally, spiritually, and that new level of where you are attracts a new kind of man to you.
It may sound like this will take a long time, and we will let you know it’s not about time, but more about the level of commitment that you make in this process.
You just spent 6 years with a man who decided to end it, and that has created a lot of pain. We can assure you that the process we are talking about takes only a small fraction of a 6-year timeline.
Whether you are currently in a relationship trying to decide if you should stay or go, or you’re stone cold single this in-depth 7-module program contains our most powerful processes to create change on the subconscious level.
It’s like having us in your ear walking you through each step. Each module will be delivered to your in-box once a week, and you simply follow along with the audio program (transcript included) and the workbook.
If you’ve always wanted to coach with us but couldn’t afford to, then this is for YOU!
To learn more about The Science of Creating Love™ click here.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,