This week’s question comes from Laura:
Hello Orna & Matthew,
First of all, thank you if you can respond to my question.
I met a man on a dating site 3 yrs. ago. He’s an attorney who lives in Michigan, with his autistic adult son. I live in Indiana. He does share custody of his son with his ex wife.
We exchanged pictures, and talked for a few weeks. He talked about driving to meet me, but to make a long story short, it never happened. He did say even if we met and it worked out, he couldn’t ever leave his son. I didn’t hear from him again until December 2015.
He has called numerous times during the past several months. I didn’t answer any of his calls but we keep in touch through email. In his voice mails he always said he wishes he had made the trip, apologizes, and tells me how much he looks at my pictures, and comments on how beautiful he thinks I am, my sweet voice and so forth.
He is asking if he can come and see me. For one, after three years, I’ve aged in looks, gained weight and don’t feel so beautiful. I’m a widow of almost five years and turning the big “60” in August. I really want to find a good man to go through life with.
Do you think he has good intentions? How do I, or do I even ask about his intentions? I’m confused as to how I should handle this. Can you please offer
Thanks so much.
Thank you for being so vulnerable in your email. We really appreciate you seeking our advice.
We are really confused why you are not dating to find a man who is near you, who chooses you, and who will claim you as the prize that you are?
This man did not follow through on coming to meet you in person, so you know absolutely nothing about him. He is as real as a mirage in the desert.
We are equally confused why you won’t speak with this man, yet choose communicate with him via email.
Online dating is a tool to use to meet people and go on dates. If your online communication doesn’t lead to an offline meet, then you are not using the tool of online dating correctly.
The majority of people have no clue how to utilize the tool of online dating for what it is. We want you to be aware that until you meet LIVE and in-person with a man you know ZERO about him.
- You don’t know if you have the spark of attraction with him.
- You don’t know if he is available for a relationship.
- You don’t know if he is who he says he is.
You have described the epitome of “Love By Accident.” Most people move through the world looking to feel a certain way about a particular person and then jump through hoops to make that feeling last. YUCK!
Excuse us, but this makes us a bit nauseous… the Romance Phase of every relationship will fade and evolve past the beginning butterflies.
What most people never experience is how it feels a decade later, or two decades later, or five decades later, when the love between you is solid, strong, and evermore present than it was when you both were “hoping” it would last.
Let us explain to you what we mean by “Love On Purpose™.” When a person becomes clear on the kind of relationship they desire (from their true heart’s desire) then they plug in a person who fits the bill!
Not the other way around where you stumble upon a person and then try to make it work.
When you do things in the order we teach our clients, then it is easy to date like a grown up because you have cultivated discernment about who is a good match for you and who it not.
Date, and date a lot! Meet available men who are willing to take you out and see you live in the flesh and from there you can make a discovery about the kind of relationship you are seeking.
If you want to be on the fast track to a lasting loving relationship we suggest you check out our in-depth 7-module program: The Science of Creating Love
7-weeks is a relatively short amount of time to identify and transform Your Love Imprint®, to master dating skills so you can date for your soulmate, and bring in your beloved. Who knows – you could ring in the New Year with your “One.”
If you are looking to give yourself the gift of a lifetime for your big 6-0 birthday – this course is it! You’ll feel good about yourself, your life, and you’ll no longer be at the whim of some man who may or may not ever travel to meet you for the first time.
We would truly be honored to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,