This week’s question comes from Rhonda:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
I have a question for you.
I am a 49-year-old female who has been divorced for a year and a half. I was in a 22-year marriage that had more downs than ups. I tried to make it work…I stuck with it, probably for too long, but when I left I was ready and have not looked back. I harbor no ill will towards my ex. I recognize the fact that I went through what I went through in order to make me the person that I am today.
I have done a lot of internal work…have figured out what I want and what I don’t want for my next relationship.
My problem is that I am having a very hard time meeting someone of any quality.
I have done the online dating route and quite frankly have not had the best of luck in that arena.
I tried it a few months after my divorce and all I encountered were scammers. It prompted me to leave a particular site earlier than my subscription ran out because of the amount of “fake people” I encountered. I was very disheartened and discouraged for a long time.
A year later I took another chance with another online site…either I met up with men who just wanted to hook up or wanted the white picket fence after the first date…two extremes that prompted me to take myself off yet again. Yet again very disheartened and discouraged.
I work at a small office and we do not get a lot of visitors…so meeting someone at work is not an option.
All of my friends are married…and don’t know of anyone single that they could introduce me to….so that is not an option.
I have done the MeetUp route…and the people are nice…but most of the people that I meet are women who are in the same boat as I am…they are not meeting anyone.
So, how do I go about meeting someone that I would be interested in? Any advice you can give would be helpful.
Thank you for your thoughtful question and we selected it to answer because so many women think that it’s difficult to find a quality man.
You mention that you have done a lot of “inner work” to discover what you want and don’t want in a relationship. We’re not exactly sure what your definition of “inner work” is…. there are many ways to discover what you want and don’t want and most of them have nothing to do with looking within.
Are there other areas in your life where you give up so easily? Have you had a bad meal at a restaurant? Did you still continue to go out to eat after that?
If having a thriving life-long intimate relationship is truly important to you, then nothing would discourage you!
What is the resistance that is present throughout your email to us?
Did you think it would be easy?
Did you think it would be convenient?
Did you think that magically one day you’d meet the “right” man?
We don’t want to sound harsh, we just want you to really think about what you’re asking us…
There are a million reasons why you have been struggling in finding what you consider a “quality” man and none of them have to do with the fact that you don’t know a lot of single people, or that online dating sucks, or doesn’t work, or that when you go out to MeetUp events you find there are many women there, and not men…
The reason why you’re struggling to find an ideal match for you is because what you believe about love in Your Love Imprint® and what you desire in love are not a match inside of you.
Online dating is a tool – that’s it. If someone were to purchase a chainsaw and cut his or her arm off – would the chainsaw be “bad?”
Using a tool that you don’t know how to use can be dangerous at worst, disheartening at best. Learning HOW to date online for success requires that you spend some time and resources to educate yourself.
However, learning how to date successfully online BEFORE you transform your limiting beliefs about love is putting the cart in front of the horse.
Once you transform your limiting beliefs about love, then finding love is EASY!
Knowing what you want and don’t want from an intellectual mindset can be a recipe for disaster because doing it that way you are only taking in your past experience, not what you truly desire if you could have ANYTHING!
Whether you are currently in a relationship trying to decide if you should stay or go, or you’re stone cold single this in-depth 7-module program contains our most powerful processes to create change on the subconscious level.
It’s like having us in your ear walking you through each step. Each module will be delivered to your in-box once a week, and you simply follow along with the audio program (transcript included) and the workbook.
If you’ve always wanted to coach with us but couldn’t afford to, then this is for YOU!
To learn more about The Science of Creating Love™ click here.
Love and Abundance,