This week's question comes from Sylvia:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
I would like to know about a man I'm interested in. I met a man online and we seemed to hit it off. We've been chatting online and I finally wrote an email to him but he hasn't answered me yet. He told me he wanted to meet and then I haven't heard from him. I really like him and I don't want to mess this up. What do I do!?!
Thanks for reaching out to us. First off, know that you can't “mess this up.” What we mean is that you cannot say or do the wrong thing with the right man. The key is how you approach it from the start.
First off, you must understand that a man who is interested in you will pursue, especially if you let him know that you are interested. And it sounds like you've made it clear to him that you are. If he is not pursuing you, then there is only one conclusion you can come to: He is not interested in a relationship with you.
It is tempting to make things complicated when we are attracted to someone. You might find yourself wondering why he hasn't reached out to you, or you may begin making excuses for him, justifying his behavior. We suggest you avoid that temptation.
People tell you who they are by their behavior. His behavior is telling you he is not interested enough to pursue you. You could make it easy for him by doing some (or all) of the pursuing yourself, but then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
All relationships have an energetic component to them and the feminine energy is a receptive energy, masculine energy the driving force. When women step into the driving force energy it emasculates the man and gives him no role to play.
Additionally, this is a perfect example of you not truly valuing yourself. When you love and value yourself then you don't settle for crumbs of affection or attention. Instead you hold out for the real deal. Love is available for you. Good men are easy to find.
Your work is to begin to take care of you and draw a clear boundary. Don't waste your time with men who aren't fully into you. Don't waste your time chasing men. That is their role in the beginning of the relationship. Your role is to send a clear signal that you are interested, be receptive to a man that you find attractive and let him lead.
If you allow a man to take the lead you will never have to have the conversation about where the relationship is going. You will know where it’s going because the man you’re seeing will claim you and will make his intentions known to you.
We've identified several different issues that you can address that will begin to shift your dating experience. Addressing one of them will help you feel better about yourself. Addressing all of them will allow you to finally create soul-satisfying, long-lasting love.
Our online program, The Science of Creating Love™, will guide you through the transformation you desire.
Wherever you are on your path to love this in-depth program contains our most powerful processes to create change on the subconscious level.
It’s like having us in your ear walking you through each step. Each module will be delivered to your in-box once a week, and you simply follow along with the audio program (transcript included) and the workbook.
Click here to learn more about The Science of Creating Love™ and discover exactly how to go from where you are to where you want to be – sharing your life with the love of your life!
Love and Abundance,