This week’s question comes from Julia:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you both for your work …I appreciate all you do.
Question: I have met a very nice man. We share some of the same hobbies like books and music. He is retired and has tons of time; I work full time and also have a photography business and am very busy with limited time. This is sometimes a problem but my real question is about sexual attraction. How soon do you think you know? I thought we had some chemistry but now not so sure… at least on my part. He says he is attracted to me but I am having trouble recognizing his cues. He is a very nice man but I want passion too. I don’t want to settle!
Thank you for your heartfelt question. We are a bit confused as the answer in your situation seems a bit obvious to us… and so we want to ask you this question: Do you find this man attractive? Is that spark of attraction there for you?
It doesn’t matter how a man feels about you, if you do not return his affection.
You state that you don’t want to settle and so the only way to do that is to say “No” to everything you do not want so that you can say “Yes” and have room for what you truly desire.
There is nothing wrong with dating someone and being in the discovery process to see if something will develop, but if you are simply waiting for the spark of attraction in our experience it’s either there right off the bat or it will never come.
Sharing hobbies and having the same interests is great for a friendship, however, has zero effect to create lasting love and intimacy and certainly will not bring you the passion you say you desire.
Julia, it seems to us that you are searching for love by accident. This is how most people do it. They move through the world hoping that someone will just show up that makes them feel a particular way and then they jump through hoops trying to get that feeling to last.
Sadly, the majority of love by accident relationships end in heartache because the spark of attraction is a Love Imprint™ match. This means that the little girl inside of you is selecting your mate rather than the grown woman who desires love to last.
In this current situation you’re asking us if nice is enough and we want to let you know that “Nice” is never going to make it through the challenges that life will inevitably bring your way.
What has your relationship history been?
Are you more attracted to the not-so-nice guy? The one who is unavailable for a relationship with you? One that you have to pursue?
The process we are describing is one of self-exploration. In order to Create Love On Purpose™ you will have to examine your past patterns in relationship and the reasons that you have been blocked from love – either consciously or subconsciously.
Doing this investigation is the first step on your journey to love. Discovering your subconscious blocks can give you some great insight into why you struggle to know whether you are attracted to a man or not. Then you can begin the work of dismantling those beliefs and strategies. This is the key to transforming your story.
This is the Do-It-Yourself program for discovering and transforming Your Love Imprint®. This digital program comes with PDF, Audio, and Workbook so you can identify the blocks and patterns keeping you from the love you want and some powerful tools for transforming them all on your own.
Click Here for The Soulmate Shortcut™
We are here to be your guides to love!
Love and Abundance,