This week's question comes from Trudie:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
I think you two are awesome! I love watching you interact on your webinars, it’s clear that you are real people who love one another. Thank you for being a shining example of what it is that I want!
Since I read your weekly notes I know that you’re always advising to date A LOT, so that’s what I’ve been doing. Unfortunately, I am not getting the results that I want and I think I may be feeling a bit depressed about it.
I get plenty of action online and offline from guys but nothing seems to really go anywhere. I can’t remember dating someone for longer than a couple of months. Whether I’m crazy about him right off the bat, or more just curious to see how things go, the guy just stops calling and I’m left wondering what I did wrong. It always catches me off guard and feeling like an idiot – asking myself what did I do wrong?
I’m starting to think there is something wrong with me that I’m not aware of. I want to have a family and share my life with someone and I just don’t know what to do.
Can you help me?”
Thank you for your positive feedback, it’s emails like these that inspire us to keep going.
We want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you – you deserve to have great love just like every other person. You came into the world as the human embodiment of the energy of love and that is why love is your birthright!
What’s interesting is that your struggle is not in getting dates instead it’s about creating a relationship. We have a hunch about the flaw in your dating strategy and we want you to know that we are taking a bit of a leap because there are a lot of missing details in your email…
It seems to us that you are going on dates with your love-ability on the line.
What we mean is that dating is meant to be a process. The reason is that it takes time to get to know someone. Sharing your life with someone should take longer than a job interview. The men you are meeting are essentially strangers… so if you’re looking for one of these men to bestow your love-ability on you then your love-ability is in the hands of a STRANGER!
You are in charge of your own love-ability!
The concept of self-love is championed throughout the personal growth industry and yet most people do not know what it truly means to be loving with oneself.
If you are confident in your love-ability you don’t have to do anything to earn it.
One of the biggest mistakes we see women make when dating is to think they have to twist into a pretzel to get the love they want. The only way to create a true soul partnership is to show up as your authentic self – let your freak-flag fly – and see who wants to spend more time with you!
You don’t need a man to prove that you are worth loving. In fact, you don’t need anything outside of you to prove it to you. As long as you are looking for love, approval, and acceptance outside of you, you will continue to be caught off guard.
For you, the journey is learning to love and value yourself! Once you truly believe that you are worth loving and treat yourself like you are, then you will begin attracting men who reflect that belief back to you.
We always say that water seeks its own level when it comes to love. You can only receive love from a man at the level that you feel it for yourself.
This is an important journey for you and we know that if you commit yourself to it, that you will reach your goal. If you want some guidance on how to start learning to love and value yourself, we suggest you check out our DIY for love program The Soulmate Shortcut.
The Soulmate Shortcut will guide you through the process of discovering your blocks to love and give you the tools to develop healthy self-love. You can learn more about the program here.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,