This week’s question comes from Bianca:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been dating this guy for about 4 months and he is unlike any of the men I’ve dated in the past. He is kind, thoughtful, and he seems to really like me. He says he wants to be with me and I believe him.
After reading a bunch of books and listening to webinars I know that how the guy treats me is one thing to pay attention to.
It’s clear to me that this man is a good and kind man. His behavior shows me that I am a priority for him.
I want to know if you think that is enough?
I’ve made mistakes choosing the partner for me in the past and ignored red flags.
So this time around I’m not sure what it is that I’m looking for.
I like him, but I’m not sure that I love him. He treats me great… is that enough?
Thank you for your heartfelt question. We find that your situation is all too common and in our opinion there is just too much bad advice out there.
Your Soulmate – the guy you want to spend your entire life with – will not just have the foundational parts you desire covered – he will be much, much more than just that!
It’s not possible to settle for a lifetime with someone. Chemistry – ATTRACTION – is part of the equation of soul-satisfying, long-lasting love.
If you don’t have that, it won’t last.
Just like if you don’t have yeast in the dough it won’t be bread. It won’t ever be bread. It won’t someday become bread.
If you want the yumminess of a lifetime together then you must have the right ingredients and chemistry is just that – one of the many ingredients you are looking for.
Where the majority of people go wrong is they place too much emphasis on chemistry – if that ingredient is there, they overlook everything else – even big giant red flags.
The goal for you is that through the dating process you can select an Ideal Match – that means the chemistry exists in addition to being a values match with him.
The thing about values is that you cannot ask someone about what they value.
Certainly you can have a conversation about them, but it will be intellectual and hypothetical and you won’t find out what you really need to know.
The dating process is supposed to take time, as that is the selection process.
Most people rush too quickly to a commitment to discover the person isn’t what they thought or hoped he would be.
Take your time.
If a guy really likes you, he will wait for you. He’ll be patient with you. He’ll want to win your heart and know how to keep it.
You want to be open with him and tell him what you like and don’t like – draw him a map of how to win your heart.
If you don’t have all the feelings for this guy and you know he has them for you, sticking with it is unfair to him. This will ultimately affect Your Heart Karma™.
There are ethical consequences for our actions. How we treat others does count. We don’t think you’d want someone to settle for you and think you’re “good enough.” This guy deserves someone who is crazy about him, as do you. Keep Your Heart Karma clean.
The fact is that life will throw challenges your way whether or not you are in a relationship. That’s why choosing a partner is so important and cannot be rushed.
No one person will be perfect – but your Soulmate will be perfect for you! You will get each other. You will have each other’s back. You will know you can count on each other like you know the sun will rise tomorrow.
That kind of love doesn’t happen in a few months, or even in a few years. It’s important to get the skillset for lasting love because in order for love to last it is ultimately a choice.
Our Home Study Program – THE SCIENCE OF CREATING LOVE™ – is a 100% digital program that moves you through the 3 phases of the coaching system we created for our private clients.
It is the only course in the world that will identify and remove your subconscious blocks to love, walk you through the dating process to select an ideal partner, give you the tools for lasting love, and also assist you in crafting the vision of what your true soul partnership looks like.
If you can’t see it – you won’t be able to create it. That’s basic Manifestation 101.
Unfortunately, too many people are crystal clear on what they do not want and on high alert through the dating process in attempt to avoid it.
If you can’t see your ideal relationship with crystal clear clarity – you’ll end up where you are now – with a nice guy who really likes you, but you’re just “meh” about him.
Get out of the “meh” and into the WOW with THE SCIENCE OF CREATING LOVE!
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,