This week's question comes from Linda
“Dear Orna and Matthew,
I am an attractive, fit 64 female and want a life companion and friend/lover. Have not dated in years, how do I connect with like-minded men?”
Thank you for your direct question. We get asked this question a lot, and not to sound off putting, but you meet “like-minded men” at all the same places that you meet any other kind of man: Out in the world. There is not some special Starbucks or supermarket that all the enlightened, like-minded men hang out at.
We believe that the purpose of an intimate relationship is to grow together personally and spiritually. That the dating process is a discovery process – first to discover about yourself, then the other person. There is no skipping this process if you want to meet someone, and certainly there is no short cut to the discovery PROCESS.
Linda, you state that you have not dated in years… why not? What blocks do you have to love that may very well be keeping you from seeing your perfect match (who may already in your circle)?
Have you identified what Your Love Imprint™ is? Are you clear on where it is not serving you in finding a match?
When you look back over your past relationships, have you identified what quality you would like to shift or change about yourself so you could be more open to receiving the love that is your birthright?
So many dating books ask you to be clear about what you want, but what about who YOU ARE? Do you have/hold all the qualities that you are looking for in a partner?
Let's assume that you've done all the inner work and you feel ready to put yourself out there and date. Online dating is a great place to begin. Take some time selecting a site, be sure that you know how the site functions. We recommend that you spend the money to be on a paid site because the caliber of people you meet will be higher than a free site.
Take even more time creating a profile and continue to tweak your profile until you receive the desired results. We find that people are resistant to this idea, treating its creation as a chore that once finished not to be thought about again. This is the number one mistake people make when dating online! Update your profile regularly and make changes based on the responses you are receiving.
At the same time, be sure to take different actions out in the world. Ask your friends and colleagues to set you up. Do things that you LIKE to do, but maybe have not done in a while. Dance? Hike? Museum? Book Signing? Charity or Fund Raising event?
We do not recommend that you do things that you do not like to do in the hopes of meeting someone. That can feel like a bait and switch for the person you meet.
When you are out in the world be aware of your surroundings, make eye contact, and smile!
Make being in a relationship a real goal and take the actions necessary to reach that goal, step by step.
Our DIY program The Soulmate Shortcut guides you through the process of discovering and transforming Your Love Imprint®. This link will send you to an in depth video that will explain much more than what we can share with you here.
Let us know how you're doing on the journey.
Love and Abundance,