This week's question comes from Anna:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really value your help and insight about dating and relationships.
I left an unhappy relationship last summer. Since then, I've started to work on MY job, health, and happiness, but I still have a ways to go in improving those things.
Here is my question: How do I know when I'm ready to date again?
Thanks for reaching out to us! We’re glad to hear that you are focusing on YOU and not immediately rushing into another relationship.
So many women seek to avoid their negative feelings by rushing into another relationship after a break-up. It is important to take time to grieve and to heal after a relationship ends.
We’re going to assume that during this time of working on yourself that you’ve taken time to grieve the past and that you have gained insight into why the relationship didn’t work.
Which leads to your question, “When are you ready to date and how do you know?”
The answer is really simple – You’re ready NOW.
The belief that you need to get everything in your life in order before you start dating is ultimately an excuse to avoid dating. There are no rules that say you have to be successful, healthy, or fulfilled before you can find love.
There’s no perfect weight, savings account amount, or happiness level that you need to achieve before you engage in the dating process.
People all over the world find love no matter their circumstances. People find love while they are still living with their parents, after they lost a job, or struggling to figure out what they want to do with their lives.
Love is not waiting for you get your life together. Love is not waiting for you to be living your purpose. Love is not waiting for you to do anything except be open to receive it.
Successful relationships do require certain skills. Communication, responsibility, self-awareness, forgiveness – these are the tools that lead to lasting love. And it is hard to learn these skills in a vacuum.
You learn how to do relationship by being in relationship.
You practice communication skills while you’re dating. You take responsibility for your behavior when you make a mistake while you’re dating. You use your self-awareness to know what is your issue verses what is his problem while dating. You always practice forgiveness, with yourself and others – particularly through the dating process.
Our advice is stop waiting for your life to be figured out before you start creating the love you want. Get out and date. Practice with people you like. Be authentic from the beginning. Make requests. Learn from your mistakes.
No matter your age or your experience there is always more to learn and grow. And being in intimate relationship with another person is the best way to learn and grow.
Being in a committed relationship is the most intense personal growth workshop you can take as long as you do it consciously and with purpose.
If you want to ensure that you won’t repeat your past negative patterns in relationship, and leverage your self-awareness and knowledge toward creating lasting-love you can gain that through our Home Study Course – THE SCIENCE OF CREATING LOVE™.
This 7-module intensive walks you through processes that access your subconscious mind – the part of you that drives your behavior and even determines who you have the spark of attraction with!
THE SCIENCE OF CREATING LOVE™ Home Study Program will transform your negative patterns in relationship, give you practical dating strategies, plus the necessary skillset to create lasting-love!
Order THE SCIENCE OF CREATING LOVE™ here: www.TheScienceOfCreatingLove.com and get started right away… even if it’s 3:00am.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,