This week’s question comes from Loretta:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’m a very active, fit, professional 49 year old woman. I seem to be attracted to younger men and them to me (I look younger than I am). The problem is they only want sex, and are not looking for a relationship. How can I meet someone I’m attracted to that would be interested in having a long-term relationship?
My longest relationship was for 13 years. He was the love of my life and my children’s father but he passed away in 2000. I remarried and was in that relationship for 10 years, which ended abruptly with him moving to another country.
I have now been single for 5 years. Which I am grateful for because I have learned to love myself and know who I am, but now I’m ready to share my life again with someone special.
Thank you for any suggestions.”
Congratulations on doing the work to love yourself and know who you are. This is one of the most important steps to long-lasting, soul-satisfying love (as well as living a happy life)!
We hear how frustrated you are dating younger men and discovering that the ones you are attracted to aren’t interested in a long-term relationship with you.
Instead of focusing on HOW you can meet someone who is interested in a long-term relationship, we’d like to change your focus to what is it about you that is attracted to men who don’t want a relationship.
There are millions of men in the world who want love, and want to be in a committed relationship with a fit, active, and attractive woman. These men are of varied ages – some are younger than you, some older than you.
Right now, the focus is on the problem, and the more you focus on the problem the more the problem is highlighted. You may have heard the saying, “What you focus on, grows.”
Instead of focusing on men who are just looking for a hook-up we suggest you bring your ideal relationship into crystal clear focus.
What is it about younger men that you are attracted to, and are those qualities exclusive only to younger men?
How do you want your relationship to function? What is the dynamic between the two of you?
What else is important to you besides attraction?
Attraction is important, but attraction on its own is not enough for a long term relationship.
How you feel about someone is important, but feelings change.
When you get clear on what you truly desire, then it becomes easy to choose men who will be able to fulfill that for you. Ultimately, the dating process is a selection process. You can use the dating process to evaluate whether or not a man will be a good fit for you long-term.
Moving on quickly when it becomes clear that he is not interested in a relationship will send a clear message to the universe that you are not willing to settle for less than what you truly desire.
Age, location, internet dating… these are not the real reasons people struggle to find the lasting love they want.
The struggle comes when we are not clear on what we want, and why it is important to us.
We’ve developed a digital program that guides you to getting clear on what really drives your behavior in your intimate relationships.
Your Soulmate Blueprint® walks you through specific processes to reveal what drives you in relationship, giving you the ability to know without a doubt who is an ideal match for you.
Creating your unique map to love, this program will show you exactly where you are and what is in your way and point you towards where you want to go.
To discover more about how this program shows you how to create your blueprint for love, read more here.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,