This week's question comes from Heather:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
You have talked about the subconscious seeking what is familiar whether good or bad…
I get that. What I don't understand is how that translates into something “EXCITING” ie : “This is familiar, this is familiar!”
How is something familiar… exciting?
Thank you for your question. We see how this can be confusing.
The simple answer is that the only difference between fear and excitement is the inner dialog we are having about the experience.
When we experience either fear or excitement, we have the same physical reaction. Our heart rate increases, our breath shortens, our palms may become sweaty, we feel butterflies in our stomach, etc.
Imagine you are standing in line to ride an extreme roller coaster (one of our favorites is Tatsu at Six Flags Magic Mountain). You hear the screams of the riders and maybe see the roller coaster as it loops and twists and turns the riders every which way.
You are in line, saying one of two things to yourself: “I can’t believe I’m going to do this. This is crazy! People can die on a ride like this!”
Or you may be saying, “Wow, this is going to be so much fun! I can’t wait! I wish this line would move faster!”
Whatever you’re inner dialogue, you will be having the same physical experience: increased heart rate, shallow breathing, butterflies in your stomach, etc.
The truth is fear and excitement are the SAME THING! The only difference is the meaning we give the experience.
This idea is popular with motivational speakers and coaches who encourage you to go for your dreams despite any fears you may have (assuming you are not risking physical harm).
It is a great strategy for overcoming limiting beliefs and achieving your goals in life. We all must risk in order to succeed.
However, when it comes to Your Love Imprint™ this idea can operate in the reverse.
We first noticed this when we worked with clients who had some form of abuse in their past. They would describe meeting a man who turned out to be abusive later in the relationship this way:
“It was so intense. I felt off balance and excited. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was like an obsession.”
This is a fear response that is being interpreted as an excitement response.
The subconscious is recognizing a familiar energy and is triggering a fear response. She is misinterpreting that fear signal as excitement (and often they believe that this is the feeling of falling in love).
This realization was one of the key moments when we began to understand Your Love Imprint™ and how it actually works. Which led to us noticing the same patterns in people who did not come from abusive backgrounds.
When they met the man who was emotionally unavailable, or the man who was a cheater, or the man who was a narcissist, they felt that spark of attraction and excitement. Only to be hurt again because they fell into the old pattern of choosing the same kind of man who delivers heartache instead of the fulfillment of the desire for love.
When you meet your Beloved you will feel attracted to him. However, it will not be obsessive and overwhelming. It will not knock you off balance.
When you connect with your Beloved you will feel like you have roots and wings!
Love is a grounding positive energy. Love feels solid and is something you can count on. Love is available and feels safe.
If you are ready to take the next step and discover the subconscious program that has you confusing fear and excitement, you can sign up for a Your Love Imprint® Session with us. During this session we will determine the language of Your Love Imprint® and share with you the best way for you to transform it.
Remember, Your Love Imprint® is the setting on your own personal GPS for Love. It is the system running in your subconscious mind that keeps you stuck repeating old patterns.
If you would like us to determine Your Love Imprint® click here and apply: www.YourLoveImprint.com.
We would be honored to be your guides to love.