This week’s question comes from Michelle:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I heard a controversial idea from an interview the other day…”Stop looking for your Soul Mate! Direct your attention on becoming and living as the most authentic you and creating the life and work you love to live and do…and in doing THAT you will meet your soulmate as if by magic.” What do think about that?”
Thank you for asking this question. We feel there is a lot of confusion around HOW to Bring In Your Beloved™ and the way this particular quote is phrased it seems that the person who was speaking wanted to have something for EVERYONE.
We don’t really go for the broad “something for everyone” approach mostly because Creating Love On Purpose™ is an inner journey and requires dedication and commitment. The rewards are HUGE! Too vast to mention here as we could go on and on of the benefits of sharing your life with someone you can count on as sure as you know the sun will rise tomorrow. Some people are attached to “magical thinking” and those are not the people who join our community.
We agree that “looking for your soulmate” is not the approach that will garner much traction mostly because the world is as we believe it to be. Your Love Imprint® is driving your choices in relationship and if you are part of the 3% of people with a very healthy and balanced Love Imprint you can find fulfilling long-lasting love by accident.
Unfortunately if you are in the majority, love by accident simply recreates a dysfunctional relationship over and over again.
We are in agreement with this statement about living a life you love, and being authentic is a big part of that journey. We say it like this: When you feel whole and complete you have the capacity to now connect with another whole and complete person to create a True Soul Partnership™.
Expecting that love will just “happen” as if by “magic” is a preposterous idea. We have had many a client who upon first speaking with us was successful in her business, has successful relationships with family members and friends, fulfilled by her career and yet her soulmate relationship is elusive and she experiences heartache and disappointment over and over again.
The “solution” to having soul-satisfying, long-lasting love is to transform your relationship with yourself. This is the foundation of an intimate relationship.
Expecting that your partner will somehow “complete you” (the Jerry McGuire myth), or that your partner will simply know what you desire and expect from him are two of the most common ways we see women sabotage their chance for great love.
In the dating arena, the biggest mistake we see happening is that people are using the wrong CRITERIA when selecting a mate. Your soulmate may not have the same likes and dislikes, he may not want to do the same things as you, he may not be the right height, or have your preferred hair color. Your soulmate, however, will be a match to your values.
It is the sharing of the same values that creates longevity in relationship. Most conflicts around money, sex, children, etc happen because the couple does not share the same values around those issues.
When you become clear on what your True Heart’s Desire is in relationship then you can become a beacon to attract that into your life. This still requires that you take action. Just because you have transformed your relationship with yourself and are clear on what you want doesn’t mean your soulmate will come knocking on your door.
Get out into the world and meet people. Become curious. Date. This is how you will meet your soulmate.
If you are interested in doing the deep dive to discover the path to your soulmate, sign up for a Your Love Imprint® Session with us and we can share with you the options we have available.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,