This week’s question comes from Diane:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
As the holiday season is fast approaching I am starting to find that I am stressed out more than usual. I’m doing my best to balance my work, my kids, and the guy I’m dating and I feel like I’m failing… at all of it!
I think you give the best dating advice for women, and I’m hoping that will translate into Life Advice.
What can I do when I feel like there is too much on my plate?
Overwhelmed and Overworked.”
Thank you for reaching out to us. As Soulmate Coaches for women, we have tackled this issue many times with clients through the years.
Let us introduce you to two phrases:
- “No, I won’t be able to take that on.”
- “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”
Honoring Your No is a learned practice.
Perhaps it’s because too many women grew up with the commercial with the woman singing, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never ever let you forget you’re a man!” Or perhaps it’s because women tend to be nurturers… or maybe it’s simply part of the journey of life that at some point we must make ourselves a priority so we don’t implode.
Whatever the reason, the truth is that you have limitations. You are one human being.
Do you have an unrealistic expectation of self?
Are you constantly expecting to take on everything without asking for guidance or support?
Life is not a One Woman Show. It was never meant to be that way.
It’s interesting because even in the list of things you mention that you need to take care of – YOU are missing from the list! And YOU are the most important thing to be taken care of.
If your default is to say, “Yes” before thinking things through, it is essential that you learn to wait before you answer. Think about what is being asked of you, and decide if you are interested, capable, and available to take it on.
It is important that you take time to re-fuel yourself and connect with yourself. Whether that is a yoga class, some time in nature, journaling, mandala coloring, or whatever activity brings you joy and connects you to your feelings; it is important that you make time just for you.
Your children will benefit from it because they will learn from modeling you how important it is to take care of yourself first.
The man you are dating will benefit from it because you will be more emotionally available when you are with him. You’ll spend quality time with him instead of just spending time with him.
Your work will benefit because you will be more refreshed and in touch with what you love about what you do instead of overwhelmed and burned out.
And, most importantly, you’ll benefit from it increasing the joy and love in your life.
Put yourself first – then everyone and everything else can follow.
We promise you that you won’t overnight become some self-serving bitch. There is no way you will magically recalibrate 180 degrees from where you are now. We simply want you to take the absolute best care of you.
When you take the absolute best care of you then:
- You will show the Divine that you count and you matter.
- You will release anger and resentment.
- You will be energized and connected to yourself.
- You will model this behavior for your children.
- You will be able to say, “Yes” to things that bring you joy.
Taking care of you also allows you tap into feminine energy which is all about RECEIVING (not giving). It is not your job to take care of your man. It is your job to take care of yourself, so that you can be available to receive from him.
Men do not fall in love with a woman who does things for them. Men fall in love with a woman who makes them feel like a Hero. When you take care of yourself, you are connected to your feelings and your needs. From that place you become more aware of what you need from your man. Letting him know how to make you happier will give him purpose in your relationship.
In our program The Soulmate Shortcut™ we share our revolutionary dating strategies that cut through the dating B.S. so you can connect with a man who is an ideal match for you. It will also show you how to get out of the limbo of not knowing if you should stick it out, or let him go.
The Soulmate Shortcut™ follows the three stages we go through with a private coaching client:
- Identifying and removing blocks to love
- Stepping into your authentic self
- Creating your true soul partnership
This program is not a magic pill, however it does guide you through these three phases step-by-step. It’s 100% digital so you can get started right now – even it’s 3:00am.
We’ve made it super easy to decide if The Soulmate Shortcut™ is right for you. Watch this VIDEO [link] and then decide:
We are here to be your guides to love!
Love and Abundance,