This week's questions comes from HollyAnn:
“Hello Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been dating for the last 2 years since my divorce and I feel so frustrated with the whole experience.
I always seem to meet men who I date for a couple of months then they unexpectedly break up with me. They seemed to be interested then they disappear. I am never able to form a bond with them. They don’t give it a chance.
Seriously, do MEN ever want anything even close to what women desire? And why don’t men ever try to give women what we need? Women are constantly available emotionally so why are men consistently unavailable and somehow it’s a woman’s fault?
This whole “blocks to love” talk is confusing to me, when women seem to always be wanting & open to loving and its the men who are blocked, fleeing as soon as a relationship is getting started.
Thanks for any direction & wisdom you are willing to share!”
Thanks for reaching out to us. We feel your pain, and want you to know that there is a way through to creating the love you want with a man who you love who also loves you.
Unfortunately, as long as you see men as the problem you will continue to struggle to find love.
Blocks to love are not exclusive to men or women. We don’t believe that either gender is more screwed up around love and intimacy than the other. Men and women just do it differently, so their issues are different.
Ultimately, the problems with love and intimacy are universal to men and women and unique to each individual. We get how that sounds contradictory. How can the problem be universal and unique to each individual?
Belief systems, emotional reactions, and behavioral strategies are all universal to being human. We all hold limiting beliefs around love. We all have emotional triggers in our intimate relationships. We all have strategies that don’t serve us.
We are all raised by flawed people, who were raised by flawed people, who were raised by flawed people, and so on. Living with our humanness is part of the deal here on planet earth.
These are the universal aspects of love and intimacy that men and women share.
Your uniqueness comes from how you responded to the circumstances of your childhood and the decisions you made about yourself and what is possible for you when it comes to love. We call this: Your Love Imprint®.
Your Love Imprint is the system running in your subconscious that determines what love looks like to you as well as your strategies for giving and receiving love. This system even selects who you have the spark of attraction with!
We have never conveyed in any of our interviews, articles, or programs, that we believe it is the fault of women that men are unavailable. Or that women are to blame for the breakdown of the family and the current 50-75% divorce rate. We simply do not believe that is true.
Part of the issue is the desire to point the finger of blame at the other gender. So let’s make it clear: It’s not women or men who are at fault!
Both women and men have a Love Imprint. Every child learns to “do” love in their family of origin. We do fit together like puzzle pieces and those pieces can bond over wounds or over dreams.
If you didn’t receive the love you wanted as a little girl in your family, than unless you do the work of transforming Your Love Imprint® it will continue to bring you more of the same – you’re either happy with what you’ve been getting or you’re not.
Our question for you is if you’re not happy with the state of your love life and you know that YOU are the common denominator in all of your relationships, what is stopping you from having the inner shift so you can find a whole new kind of man attractive?
Orna just told a friend the other day about a past boyfriend, and as aside she said, “This was clearly before I had done the inner work to find a nice guy attractive.”
If you’d like to know specifically what that inner work is for you the way to do that is with a Your Love Imprint® Session.
This system is unique to you – as personalized as your finger prints – so this session is private and just with you.
Register for Your Love Imprint® Session here: www.YourLoveImprint.com
We are here to be your guides to love!
Love and Abundance,