If you’re feeling tired of being alone that can be a great motivator for making a change. But being tired of your current situation isn’t enough to actually create a new one. Most people get motivated when they are uncomfortable with their present circumstances.
Whether you desire to lose weight, to have financial security, or to finally create lasting love, feeling sick and tired of the way things are can be the impetus for making a shift. Unfortunately, your motivation will begin to falter and your results will suffer if you’re relying on your desire for change to keep you going.
You see, when you are motivated by discomfort you actually begin to lose motivation as soon as you start to feel comfortable again. Losing a few pounds, paying off a couple of debts, or getting a date or two with an interesting person might be enough to stagnate your motivation and then you relax in your efforts.
You can also falter when you hit a couple of bumps in the road. Maybe you slip and gain back a couple of pounds, or an unexpected expense drains your savings account, or you fail to get any action on your dating profile. You can falsely see these setbacks as evidence that what you desire isn’t going to work out.
So how do you overcome these natural impediments to actually making changes in your life and persist towards your goals?
The key is to add inspiration to your discomfort and to create a plan that motivates you all the way to achieving your goal. These three elements – discomfort, inspiration, and a plan – are the keys to achieving anything you want in life.
Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. So, if you’re tired of being alone and are ready to get back in action here a few steps you can take right now to make sure your relationship status will change in the direction you desire.
Tired Of Being Alone? Follow These Tips To Get Back In Action
Let Go Of Your Excuses
Maybe you think you’re too old, or you don’t feel attractive, or you find it difficult to meet new people. These excuses are not doing you any good. You may feel like you need your reasons to keep your heart safe from heartbreak, but no one is coming to knock down those walls.
Ultimately your reasons for not dating are simply excuses. They are keeping you “safe” from what you desire. Make a conscious effort to take action anyway. Some of your reasons may be true, but they shouldn’t stop you from making an honest effort toward creating the change you desire.
Put your excuses aside and see if you can find evidence that contradicts your beliefs. Look for stories of people who fell in love after 65. Notice that there is a lid for every pot – that all kinds of people of varying shapes and sizes find love. Remember that nothing is gained unless you are willing to take a risk.
Stop wallowing, set aside your excuses that you’re feeling tired of being alone, and allow yourself to open up to the possibility of creating an ideal relationship.
Take Things Slowly And With Purpose
It may feel exciting to go all in an attempt to change everything, but you’re setting yourself up for failure if you act without getting your plan in place first. Do some research about how dating has changed. (Hint: It hasn’t really. The only thing that has changed is the technology you use to meet people.)
Invest some time in looking for a guide or a coach so you have the support you need and a skilled partner in creating a plan.
Are you cynical about dating apps and online dating? Get information about how to create a good profile and how to best use these tools for meeting a lot of new people. Dating apps are tools just like a hammer or a chainsaw. If you don’t know how to use the tool it doesn’t make the tool bad or worthless, it means you need to educate yourself.
Take time creating your dating profile and make sure it stands out from the rest. Everyone can write a list of things they like and don’t like (sadly the majority of the lists are identical). Tell a story. Share your sense of humor. Be clear on who you are and what you are looking for.
Tired of being alone? Don’t let your cluelessness of how to best use a dating app stop you from learning how and going on dates.
Update Your Dating Skills
Most people date as adults the same way they dated when they were in their teens and twenties. As soon as you meet someone you like, you jump into exclusivity and hope that it works out. Or you find excuses why no one you meet will ever match your expectations.
Neither strategy is going to get you what you want. You’ll either waste time on a lot of short-term relationships that don’t go anywhere, or you’ll be so protective of your heart that no one will get through to you.
When you start dating, look for reasons to say “Yes!” to a date instead of looking for reasons to move on. Just because you’re meeting someone for a date doesn’t mean that you are committing to a lifetime. It’s just a date. Keep it light and casual.
Date a lot of different people and get curious about them. It can be fun to meet new people and get to know them, especially when there isn’t a lot of expectation about where things may go.
Take your time before going exclusive with someone you really like. This person is a stranger. Make sure you know who he is before committing to exclusivity.
Practice being authentic. Speak how you feel and make requests. If you want to be loved for who you really are, then you have to show up as who you really are.
Truly tired of being alone? Update your dating skills, start meeting new people, and go on dates.
Get Clear On What You Really Want
You may know the type of man you are attracted to, but do you know how to judge if he will be a good partner for you in the long run? Attraction is only one element of a healthy relationship. What other requirements do you need to feel satisfied with a life partner?
Get clear on what is important to you in your romantic relationship. Do you value communication or adventure? What about passion or trust? Create a list of what you value in your intimate relationships.
Think of it as a map to your beloved. If you don’t know the coordinates of your destination, then it will take a long time to accidentally find yourself there. Don’t leave your love life up to chance or luck.
Utilize the vision of your ideal relationship to inspire you along your journey. This is the key to moving past those inevitable challenges that will show up. Focus on the vision of love that you’re creating and let it motivate you in those moments when you are feeling down.
If you’re feeling tired of being alone, get clear on what you want instead, and create your plan for love with specific actions you can take.
Stick To Your Plan
Dating can be tedious at times. You may want to just commit to someone who seems like a good man just so you don’t have to keep going on dates and see if it works out. This is not a good strategy for lasting love.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to throw out your plan when you meet someone who seems good enough. Remember no matter your feelings, they are only temporary. It’s important to know if there is more than just chemistry between you two. You only discover that over time, not just because the sex is hot.
Don’t give a stranger the benefit of the doubt just because you feel attracted and excited. Instead, stick to your plan of taking things slowly and get to know him before committing your heart. Give him time to prove that his intentions for you are honorable and that he is really interested in a relationship with you and not just looking for companionship and physical intimacy.
Tired of being alone? Make a plan for love and stick to your plan, even when you meet the perfect guy. Remember, you’re worth the wait.
Release Your Expectations
This is where things get a little woo-woo. You’ve focused on what you want and you’ve created your plan for achieving it. Now you need to relax and let it happen.
Putting a lot of expectations on every date and trying to control how things go will only put you on an emotional rollercoaster. Release your expectations so that you can be present with your date. Let go of how things are supposed to work out and leave room for a little magic.
Love doesn’t just magically happen, but there can be a lot of magic on your journey to love. Just because you are using a particular dating app doesn’t mean that you’ll only meet your guy through that app. While you may really want someone with a particular hair color or who lives close to you, your heart doesn’t care about those things.
By setting your intention and taking action you are putting energy out into the world that means having love in your life is a priority. Resist the urge to micromanage the process. You have to release the reins in order to get what you want.
Sick and tired of being alone? Leave room for magic and serendipity and love will fill in the space.
Act As If Your Soulmate Is Already Here
What if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that your soulmate existed and it was just a matter of time until that first meeting? Would you allow yourself to relax and have fun until the two of you meet?
Imagine the confidence you would have if the pressure was off of you. If you didn’t doubt that your beloved was waiting for you, you would be able to just be yourself and enjoy having new experiences until that day comes.
What you believe about yourself and your ability to find love affects your outcome. Doubt that anyone could love you and you’ll find evidence that he may leave you. If you believe that all men will cheat, then you’ll constantly feel jealous and insecure.
If you embrace the idea that your soulmate is already here and just waiting for you to find him, then you’ll finally have that confidence you’ve been looking for. Start acting As If this were true and see how it loosens you up and allows you to be fully authentic.
Instead of focusing on how you’re tired of being alone, embrace the belief that no matter what you will find your soulmate.
Let the discomfort with your current situation motivate you to commit to taking new actions. Create a vision of love that inspires you to continue on the journey to lasting love. Stick to your plan and love will be here faster than you can imagine.
Are you tired of being alone and want to know how to create the love you want? Join us for a complimentary Soulmate Strategy Session so we can guide you to craft your custom plan for long-lasting, soul-satisfying love.
Orna and Matthew Walters are TV’s favorite dating and relationship experts. They uncover subconscious blocks to love so that you can select an ideal partner to share your life with. Follow them on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.