This week’s question comes from Kama:
Hello Orna and Matthew,
I’m a 37 yr old woman and I’ve never been married. I’ve dated a lot, but I’ve never had a relationship last much longer than a year. For some reason, whatever feelings I have for a man when we start dating don’t seem to last. I get bored or frustrated with the situation and I end the relationship.
The problem is I really want to spend my life with my soulmate, but I’m afraid I’m never going to find him. I’m just so tired of being lonely. Part of me believes I should just settle for the next decent guy who wants to marry me…
I don’t know what to do, and would appreciate any help you can send my way.
Thank you for your heartfelt email. We can hear your frustration. We hear so often from many women around the globe how frustrating it is to still be searching for their Soulmate and afraid they will never find him.
How frustrating it is when you don’t have someone to support you on your most challenging days.
The shame you can feel because it seems like you are the only one who struggles to find love.
The worry you feel of growing old alone.
This isn’t a problem that can be solved by changing your online dating profile or learning to flirt better.
And you certainly won’t be happy by settling for some decent guy because you’ve given up looking for what you really want. We’ve coached many women who reached out to us newly divorced from the guy they tried to settle with.
You probably hear from your friends and family that you’re too picky. Just lower your standards and you’ll be married in no time.
However, what you’ve shared tells us that what’s blocking you is much deeper than that. It isn’t an issue of being too picky or too critical of the men you meet.
The real issue that is blocking you is that deep down you don’t feel safe. You don’t feel safe with men. You don’t feel safe with a long-term commitment. You don’t feel safe being truly vulnerable in your intimate relationships.
This feeling of a lack of safety comes from how you learned to receive love as a little girl. Somewhere in your family dynamic you learned that it is not safe for you.
This feeling of safety is part of Your Love Imprint® and it isn’t going to magically disappear one day.
Your Love Imprint® was created by you in your family of origin. It is the belief system you have around love and intimate relationships. It is your internal GPS for love, and until you do the work of transforming it, you will continue to feel bored and frustrated by the men you date.
Your Love Imprint® is made up of your limiting beliefs, your mental/emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies around giving and receiving love. Your pattern of boredom and frustration comes from this family imprint.
It is also blocking you from even seeing the amazing guy who is probably in your life right now that would be an ideal match for you.
It’s clear to us that part of you is working really hard to keep you feeling safe and secure. Boredom and frustration are secondary emotions that are masking something deeper underneath. Uncover and transform this system inside of you, and you’ll discover that finding and keeping love is actually easy.
We put together a comprehensive program that can help you not only discover Your Love Imprint®, it will give you the tools to transform it. Our 7 module online program The Science of Creating Love™ guides you through the 3 stages of Creating Love on Purpose®.
The first stage is to discover and transform your subconscious blocks to love. During this stage you’ll get clear on your specific patterns that block you from the love you want, and through the process included in the program you will release these old strategies.
The second stage is all about stepping into authenticity and learning how to ask for what you really want and need. Your soulmate does not come with mind reading powers. He will not instinctively know how to make you happy or what it is you want so this phase includes tools for lasting love.
The third and final phase is all about creating your true soul partnership. In this stage you get to craft the qualities that you are looking for in your ideal relationship so you can identify your match out in the world. You even get the tools to manifest this relationship quickly.
If you’re ready to release the old strategies that are keeping you stuck worrying about when your Mr. Right will arrive on the scene take your love life into your own hands and get The Science of Creating Love™ here.
This 100% digital program will be delivered to your in-box so you will not have to wait for anything to be shipped and you get started ASAP – even if it’s 3:00am.
We hope that you keep the faith on your journey to love. It can feel very hopeless as you see other women around you creating their soulmate relationships. We know that this is possible for you as well.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,