This week’s question comes from Michele:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
My name is Michele; I have been divorced for 6 years. In a nutshell my marriage ended because my husband was unfaithful. I raised my 2 children on my own. I must admit I did a fine job! They are 2 amazing young adults!
Once I was divorced, I put myself out there. I met many great guys. Quite a few who were truly ready to commit. Some even looking for marriage. In the end, I usually ended the relationships. Nothing I could say went wrong, they just were not “The One.” Friends shake their heads. Wondering how I can pass up such great guys, ready to commit and be faithful. I would wonder too. The only thing I come up with is something was missing.
I feel I will know when I know. I continue to date, I continue to meet nice guys, and 7 out of 10 times I remain friends with these guys I could never see a future with.
My question is what could I do different? I am truly ready to be in a life long relationship! I am truly ready to meet “My Guy”! I do some online dating. I go out with friends. I am an out going person and make friends easily. There just always seems to be something missing for me. That deep soul connection I crave. That feeling of coming “Home”!
Any suggestions for me?
Thank you for reaching out to us! You are at a perfect moment in time to hear our advice and take a new action.
First, we want you to continue doing what you are doing. Keep getting yourself out there and meeting new men. However, we want you to change your focus. Instead of trying to decide whether or not he is “The One,” turn your attention to yourself.
Notice your inner dialog and how you feel with each man. Is it different with a man you are attracted to vs. a man you don’t feel that spark with? Are you able to be authentic with each one? Pay attention to the walk to the car after the date; how does he make you feel?
This is our Date to Discover process. It is invaluable in discovering your dating patterns, your internal dialog and your limiting beliefs.
Start focusing on yourself so that you can discover your hidden blocks to love. The answers you are looking for will not be discovered by dating the same way you have been. It’s time for a new strategy one where you look deep inside and examine yourself in a whole new way.
Another great place of inquiry is to look into the patterns you have with the men you have chosen to date exclusively. You already stated that you are the one who ends the relationship. Can you discover the pattern that leads to you ending the relationship?
What we want to emphasize to you is that you are the common denominator in all of your relationships. So if there is a reason that it is not working out – it is inside of you. Finding more men will not change the pattern.
There are three stages that we work through in all of our programs:
1. Identifying and removing blocks to love from your past.
2. Stepping into your authentic self and learning authentic communication.
3. Creating the relationship you most desire.
If you skip any of the steps, you will not get the result you desire – a true soul partnership.
Based on the information you gave us, it is clear that you have subconscious blocks to your soulmate. Doing deep inner work to identify your unique patterns, blocks and limiting beliefs is the path to your Beloved.
If you want to take the fast track to your Beloved, then join us for our 7 module online program, The Science of Creating Love™.
This in-depth program guides you through the 3 stages and will give you the tools to connect with your man!
To ultimately achieve what you say you want – a real soul connection – will take some time to go through the process of permanently removing your blocks to love. The Science of Creating Love walks you through this process step-by-step.
If you’re ready to move through your grief and create a new path to love you can get The Science of Creating Love™ here.