This week’s question comes from Gail:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
What if he “ghosts” you for 7 weeks and then a one-sentence text and photo comes out of the blue. Respond? No response? How long to wait to respond?
I’m confused as to what this means. Is he interested in me again?
I’m really tired of games and this seems to be a common behavior with men and new relationships.
Yes, situations like this can be frustrating. It can be confusing and leave you feeling a bit like you are a yo-yo on a string.
However, the answer is pretty simple, and it starts with being clear on what you desire in a relationship.
If you are just casually dating, looking to meet new people, or just like some company now and again, then go ahead and text him back (there is no prescribed “wait time”).
You may or may not hear back from him and you may or may not actually see him again. But if you have nothing invested then you have nothing to lose. He might text you back, he might not. The two of you may go on a date, or just hook up.
However, if you are looking for a relationship, what we refer to as: Long-Lasting, Soul-Satisfying LOVE, then don’t waste your time. Move along and focus your time and efforts on dating men who are actually interested in the same thing you are.
Your question: How do I know if a man is interested in a relationship with me?
Our Answer: He acts like it. He asks you out. He reaches out to you to talk or to see you again. He checks in regularly with texts. He takes the lead and drives the relationship forward.
If a man is not doing this, then he is not really interested in a relationship. Or he is not emotionally ready for a relationship. Or he is not actually available (meaning he is in another relationship and looking to fool around). Or he is looking for some companionship, sex, and enjoys the company of a woman who will go along with whatever he wants. Or…. ____(fill in the blank)____ – there are a lot of reasons a man may not want a relationship RIGHT NOW.
Whatever his story, move along. Men (and women) who ghost are not emotionally mature people. They are not mature enough to have the very important Uncomfortable Conversations that lead to a deeper connection with another person.
We call these men “Convenient Guy.” He may very well find you attractive, and enjoy your company, and ultimately he is not going to be the partner you desire for a relationship.
Never give Convenient Guy your heart, your hope, or control over your own happiness.
Instead get clear on what you are looking for. Say, “No” to any man who doesn’t fit that vision. Then you have time and energy to focus on becoming the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with.
If you find that you’re only meeting Convenient Guy after Convenient Guy, after Convenient Guy then it’s time to identify and remove your subconscious blocks to love. Check out our comprehensive 7-module digital program “The Science of Creating Love™ as this is exactly what it is designed for.
The Science of Creating Love guides you through the three stages of transformation:
- Identify and remove your blocks
- Stepping into your authentic self
- Create your ideal relationship
Each module contains guided processes so you can release your patterns (the familiar things that are no longer serving you) and create a whole new road map to love.
Most people don’t have a process for knowing whether someone is a good match for them or not, instead people make that decision based on a feeling. Unfortunately, we can count on the fact that our feelings will change, and lasting-love is a choice. We want you to be able to choose an ideal partner, and also have the tools to make it last!
You can read more about The Science of Creating Love™ here.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,