This week's question comes from Adrienne:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you for all you do to spread love around the globe and help people find love. I really liked how you answered a question a few weeks ago when the person asked some version of why do women have to change, and what about the men who are blocked from love.
I appreciate you sharing that each person has a journey to love regardless of their gender, and how it’s what we don’t know that ends up blocking us from the love we desire.
I want to know your thoughts on my situation… I’m a woman in my early 50s and I’ve had my share of relationships, and right now I feel like I’m finally coming into my own. I’m happy with myself and I can finally say that I like myself.
As I spend a lot of my time nurturing my career and my non-romantic relationships I find that I'm reluctant to date… and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do about it.
I know I’m a catch, I do want to share my life with someone, and yet I don’t feel motivated to really do what it takes to start dating again. As the holiday season is approaching like a freight train, I find myself evaluating another year single. A lot is good in my life and I feel grateful for all that I have… unfortunately what you call soul-satisfying love is no where in sight…
Not sure of what steps to take to change where I am.
Thank you for your consideration and I hope you select my question to answer.”
Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to us to know that we are having a positive effect on those in our community.
Your question is an interesting one because it’s not a clear-cut one… and we usually do our best to select questions that are clear so we can then give a clear answer. We selected yours because we want you to ask yourself this very important question:
“What is being on your own costing you?”
It’s clear that overall you have a good life. A career you like, friends, family, etc. So what does NOT having soul-satisfying love cost you?
Is it only this time of year that you wish you had someone to snuggle with in front of the fire?
Or does it also happen when you’re sick and not feeling well?
Does your mind wander when you wake up in the middle of the night wishing there was someone next to you?
Do you worry about the future?
Are you stressed out trying to juggle everything yourself?
Different people will answer this question differently. What it’s costing you might be very different than what it is costing someone else.
Only you can decide if it’s “worth it” to start dating again.
What we can assure you is that your Mr. Right will not just magically show up at your front door – you must take action to connect with him.
As Soulmate Coaches for powerful women it seems that you are in the perfect place to attract your soulmate. Now it’s up to you to decide how much you WANT to do that.
How much do you want a True Soul Partnership? Someone that gets you, that you know you can count on through thick and thin, who you are crazy about and is also crazy about you.
It is clear by your question that you have some resistance to taking action that will get you closer to the love you desire. You describe feeling a lack of motivation and that is keeping you from doing anything about your situation.
Many people think they have to wait until they feel motivated to take action and make changes. However, if you take action now you may find that your motivation catches up.
Your lack of motivation is there because you aren’t uncomfortable enough to create change. We don’t generally change when times are good. Why would we? It is when we face challenges that we are forced to look at our behavior and evaluate if it is still serving us.
The discomfort that comes with challenges is the motivator most of us are used to. We would guess that you don’t want to become uncomfortable in order to get motivated.
Instead you have to find a way around your subconscious habits and behaviors – your comfort zone – in order to create something new. This requires a little will power. It also requires that you get your subconscious mind on board with your conscious desires.
The language of the subconscious is symbol, image, story, and metaphor. Similar to the dreams you have when you’re sleeping things are not what they seem to be. The goal of the subconscious is to keep you alive.
Unfortunately this part of you cannot judge – so it doesn’t know if you’re alive and blissfully happy, or alive and suicidal. Its job is a kind of homeostasis – it wants to bring you more of what is familiar.
If you’ve never experienced the kind of love that you desire – it is unfamiliar.
To reconcile this requires a trained professional. It’s not something you can simply think your way out of. Your big beautiful brain is not the right tool to help you get the love you want.
As a matter of fact, that smart brain of yours is not your ally when it comes to creating change on the subconscious level.
Having the right tool means you can get right to work instead of having to endure trial and error over and over again.
The first phase of coaching with us is all about identifying and removing subconscious blocks to love. The thing is your subconscious doesn’t speak English, or French, or Swahili…
If a coach ever tells you to have a conversation to create change on the subconscious level – RUN! They have no idea how to help you.
Instead look for tools that allow you to get back into rapport with your subconscious, and with yourself.
Once you know what it is costing you to move through life on your own and you make the decision that your life would be enriched by being in partnership – that is the place to decide to get a Soulmate Coach.
If you’re not sure if we are the coaches for you and you want to explore what that would look like, book a Private Coaching Discovery Session.
You can read more about Private Coaching with us here:
From that link you place a fully refundable deposit and schedule time to speak with us. We’ll answer all your questions including the full investment, what coaching packages are available, and what we think is the best fit for you based on your situation, your budget, and time commitment.
We are not the right coaches for everybody!
If having a True Soul Partnership is a priority for you then you owe it to yourself to speak with us and so we can share with you exactly how we plan to help you get the love you want.
Love and Abundance,