This week's question comes from Annette:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
I really like your direct approach in how you answer these questions every week. I must admit I’m a bit addicted to reading your blog. By far, you seem to have the best dating advice.
My question is this: What does it take to remove blocks to love?
I understand why I’m blocked. I think I have all the insights that I’ve searched for over a decade now. Unfortunately, I’m still attracting the same kind of emotionally unavailable men.
The men that I’m attracted to seem different in the beginning, yet all my relationships seem to end up at the same place in the end. At first it was the guy breaking up with me… and after I wised up to my patterns it seems that I’m the one who instigates the break up.
I can’t seem to get passed several months with a guy I find attractive without feeling like he is just not the one for me.
Can you help? What can I do from here?
Doing my best not to lose hope.”
Thank you for your kind words. We value you as part of our Love On Purpose™ Community.
The fact is that most people have a fairly good understanding of WHY they are the way they are. Meaning they have an understanding of the blocks that are present in their Love Imprint.
Your Love Imprint® is the system in your subconscious mind that is like the internal setting on your “GPS For Love.” It is made up of your limiting beliefs, mental/emotional patterns, and behavioral strategies for giving and receiving love.
Having an awareness of these blocks to love is certainly the first step. It is impossible to change anything until you are aware of what changes need to be made. Although simply having the understanding and awareness of why you are the way you are doesn’t actually change anything.
Our conscious mind is in control of only 5-10% of our behavior. The other 90-95% of our behavior is stored in our sub-conscious mind. That’s where our habitual behaviors live – like how we walk, tie our shoe, or drive the car.
When we first learn how to do something it takes great focus and concentration. Eventually, that learning goes on autopilot – like riding a bike!
So you learned how to “do love” in you family of origin. Through those experiences as a little girl you made some decisions about how love operates. It’s not a conscious decision – not from a multiple choice or anything like that – more that you assigned meaning to the events that occurred. Those meanings are stored in the subconscious mind.
There are Love Coaches who discuss this topic of “blocks to love” and they are incorrect if they think that talking about these blocks will ever change a thing.
Similarly, there are Love Coaches to will tell you to set the table for 2 each night for dinner, make space in your closet, and be sure to have two night stands in your bedroom. “Prepare to share your home with your Beloved as nature abhors a vacuum.”
That may be true in some instances, however, if you have a block to love that is tied to a limiting belief – then you can do all these things and he won’t show up for you. If he did, you wouldn’t even see him.
What we’re saying is this: The guy you’re looking for doesn’t match the picture of what love is in your subconscious mind.
The course correction that needs to occur is that your subconscious and your heart’s desire must come into alignment. That only happens when changes are made on the subconscious level.
To do this, only a person who has the skills to communicate with the subconscious mind can guide you to make the necessary changes.
Talking about your blocks won’t change them.
Making a vision board of what you want won’t remove these blocks.
Getting a makeover and learning how to flirt and your ideal hairstyle won’t change or shift anything on the subconscious level.
Creating change on the subconscious level requires regular touch over a relatively short period of time. This is what is required to create a TRANSFORMATION!
It’s not that there is something wrong with you. You are not broken or destined to be alone. There is simply a mismatch between what you desire and what you learned about love as a young girl.
It’s this mismatch that must be addressed.
Until you do make this shift, it’s likely that you will find yourself in similar types of relationships again and again and again.
The good news is that it is possible to make the necessary changes without going over and over and over past events, or your past heartbreaks.
If you are committed to creating this change – and you would like us to be your guides then click the link below so we can connect with you to discuss private coaching:
There is a deposit collected so we know you are a serious inquiry. If you move forward with private coaching your deposit will be applied toward your investment. If for some reason you decide that private coaching with us is not for you then your deposit will be refunded in full.
Private Coaching with us is not for everyone. This is not passive work and it will require you to make changes in how you’ve been moving through your life.
Ultimately, we have outrageous results with our private coaching clients because this type of coaching brings you into alignment with your highest and best self. We believe that is where you connect with your Beloved.
During the Discovery Session you can ask us as many questions as you like and we’ll be sure to answer them all. It is an opportunity for you to see if we are the Soulmate Coaches for you.
We are here to be your guides to love!
Love and Abundance,