This week's question comes from Holly:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you for all the direction and wisdom you have shared through the years. I love your newsletters! I am still perplexed as to how to find answers to more questions so I’m going to give it a go and ask them here…
Do men ever want any relationship sorta kinda close to what women ache for? And why don’t men ever try to offer any kind of love even close to what women offer? Woman are constantly “available” time & dime & energy & emotion wise so why are men consistently “unavailable” and its women’s fault?
This whole “blocks to love” talk is confusing to me. Women seem to always be wanting and open to loving and its the men who are blocked up, backing away and bad mouthing the idea of “love” as unnecessary, foolish, annoying etc.
How are women always to blame for love not happening inside or outside when they are usually the ones actually trying to make offers for real love?
Do men even know there are more kinds of love than just physical attraction and acts of sex? Do they ever believe most women want to simply enjoy a man for who he is and not for what he can provide?
Are there any programs to become free of the desire to love men?
Thanks for any direction and wisdom you are willing to share.”
Thank you for reaching out and asking your heart felt questions about the differences between men and women and how they seek and find love.
We’re thrilled you asked about “Blocks To Love” and why we believe that women are unknowingly blocking themselves from having the love they desire.
Let’s first address your question about what men want. Most men crave intimacy and connection in their intimate relationship. The sad fact is that too many women make these men bad or wrong for not doing things the way they would.
These men are running on empty trying to please the woman they care for, and all they get over and over is how they didn’t do it “right.” How they could’ve done it better, or different, or didn’t do it exactly how she wants.
The fuel a man runs on in relationship is acknowledgment and appreciation. This is one thing that women in general are stingy with. That is the kind of loving a man must have because he must feel useful in the relationship.
We have never – not once – not even the tiniest bit – blamed women for the problems they experience in love. As a matter of fact in our newsletter, which you were kind enough to complement us on, we offer a Love Note Quote at the top that very often shares how there is nothing wrong with you and that love is your birthright.
Women are not to blame, and quite frankly, neither are men.
If one is operating from a place of blame then there is nothing to do to change the situation because the issue is outside of you. Rather, we support the concept of RESPONSIBILTY.
When one takes responsibility for their current situation they can then create change for themselves and manifest what they desire.
The world is as we believe it to be.
If you believe that all men only want sex and not love – then you will only see men that want sex from you and not a loving caring relationship.
This is what we call a Limiting Belief. It is your belief system that is faulty – not men in general. When you release this limiting belief you will no longer be blocked from seeing men who want the kind of relationship you long for.
Yes, it’s true there are emotionally unavailable men. There are also emotionally unavailable women. As a heterosexual woman you date men so emotionally unavailable women are not showing up for you.
This past weekend, we were at an event with some friends and a small group of women started speaking about men in general – similar to what you did in your email to us. We asked these women how it would feel to hear men talking about women and lumping all women together as if they are not individuals.
Looking for a certain group of men will only bring you frustration and disappointment. You don’t need “men” – instead date to connect with your Beloved.
When you shift from looking for men to looking for Your Man – that is when things will become much more engaging because you’re looking for your “One.”
Lastly, we don’t have any programs that will remove your desire to love men or curb your desire for an intimate relationship. We believe that we are meant to share our lives with someone special.
If you are unsure if you have subconscious blocks to love or if you are unaware of what they are, our program The Soulmate Shortcut™ will guide you to discover Your Love Imprint®, your subconscious beliefs about love from your family of origin. It is the subconscious program that decides who you have the spark of attraction with, and also drives your behavior in intimate relationships.
When you discover the system of Your Love Imprint®, which includes your limiting beliefs about love, your mental and emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies around giving and receiving love, you’ll understand where your limiting beliefs come from and how to transform them.
Watch this video that explains everything about Your Love Imprint® and how The Soulmate Shortcut™ program can help you transform it here: www.TheSoulmateShortcut.com
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,