This week's question comes from Tina:
“Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you for your weekly notes, I feel like I learn from you every single week. I’m reaching out because I’m really struggling as I work with a guy that I have a very strong connection with – I feel that we are soulmates. As long as I’ve known him he’s been in a relationship. Working together it’s obvious there is chemistry between us, and we are friends too.
I do my best to be respectful of the fact that he is unavailable. Recently they broke up and I felt myself feeling distant, I just didn’t want to get hurt. Nothing happened between us, I was really torn because I care about him, and I also have hope that our relationship would turn romantic… well, they got back together.
Now I’m afraid I missed my opportunity. I really feel drawn to him and I feel he is my soulmate – should I tell him how I really feel?”
Thank you for reaching out and asking us about your current situation. We really value you as part of our community, and so because you asked us – we are going to give it to you straight:
Your soulmate will not be unavailable and in a relationship with someone else.
We hope that you are still reading, and please understand that we are responding to you with love and kindness.
A strong connection with a guy you work with is not your only chance for soul-satisfying, long-lasting love. Additionally, a man who wants a relationship with you will pursue you for a relationship. There is nothing you will need to do except respond to him.
To stay on point, we are going to share with you our concept of what a soulmate is and is not.
A soulmate is a person who you choose for an intimate relationship, who also chooses you. A true soul partnership is created by two people – both must choose the other. If only one person desires the relationship, that is not a soulmate.
We feel that there are multiple opportunities to create a soulmate relationship, so it’s not like you have to scour the earth for ONE person who is your match.
Additionally, there are other people that we have deep connections with and sometimes these people have what we call a Soul Contract with each other.
A Soul Contract is different from a Soulmate as in this type of situation the two people learn through an experience they have together and that experience encourages growth for both people involved.
Some soul contracts are played out in the light where both people grow and evolve, and others are played out in the dark. In either case, the relationship is not meant to last.
A great example of a soul contract played out in the dark is the experience Orna had with her ex-boyfriend who beat her on New Year’s Eve of 1994. This pivotal event changed the course of Orna’s life and lead to growth for her in many ways.
We suggest that you do not share how you feel with this particular man simply because you work with him. There is no wiggle room to have some time to recover from an awkward experience.
Instead, focus on getting out and dating. Date and date A LOT! Put your focus on finding a man who you have a strong connection with who pursues you for a relationship and who is most of all AVAILABLE.
If you discover that your pattern is ONLY be attracted to men who are unavailable – we consider that a negative pattern that is a huge block to having the love you desire.
Sometimes a strong connection with someone is what we call a Love Imprint Match™ – meaning that the connection is a signal from your subconscious mind telling you that the situation is FAMILIAR.
Your Love Imprint® is like the GPS setting for love in your mind. It’s what love feels like to you. Unfortunately, Your Love Imprint is formed in childhood from the wound of how you did not receive love exactly how you wanted it.
If you would like to discover Your Love Imprint and get direction on how to transform it, then join us for a Your Love Imprint Session.
During this private session, we will determine exactly what is the system running in your subconscious mind that is keeping you attracted to unavailable men. This system is made up of your limiting beliefs, your mental/emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies around giving and receiving love.
Once you understand the system that is driving your behavior you can begin the process of transforming it. From this new place, you will find it easy to create your true soul partnership.
We are here to be your guides to love.
Love and Abundance,