This week’s question comes from Sarah:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I’ve done a lot of personal growth and think it is an important part of who I am in the world. And yet most of the guys I meet (including my ex-husband) are NOT interested in growing and changing. I want to share my life with someone who wants to grow with me! Do guys like that even exist?
Yes, there are plenty of men who are interested in personal growth. One thing you want to be sure of is that you haven’t made the decision that there are not men who are. If you have decided that, then you will continue to find evidence of that being true. It’s a funny thing that we really do have that much power and it comes from how our minds work because we’re always filtering information and we will always find what we believe to be true.
The saying “I’ll believe it when I see it,” is actually backwards, once we believe then, and only then will we see and experience it. Start questioning your limiting beliefs about love, men, and what is available to you. You’ll see that many of those beliefs are actually driving your behavior and keeping you from seeing what is all around you.
As far as logistics go, put yourself where you might find men that are interested in the same things you are is to be sure to attend events. Personal growth workshops, meditation and yoga centers and classes, Unity Church, Self Realization Fellowship, even charity organizations are great places to find men who are interested in living a better life and making our world a better place.
You can also find men who are interested in personal growth at business and entrepreneurial events. In order to be successful in business, you have to conquer your personal demons and many men who are on the path of entrepreneurial success are very committed to being their best.
Please be aware though, that many men do personal growth differently than women do. Many men are “do it yourselfers.” They like to do the work on their own. Matthew’s brother does a lot of his introspection while he is building furniture in his woodshop. Men find time to work out their problems while repairing cars, building things, or working in the yard.
Other men find that they like to be challenged by their peers in sports and this is a great place to become a better person. Sports and the gym can challenge men to overcome their own limitations. We find that many “spiritual” people have a judgment about these activities, and miss the lessons of discipline, teamwork, selfless, etc. that are inherent in team sports.
Understanding and appreciating the differences between men and women and embracing them instead of wishing that we were more alike will do a lot to repairing the rift between the masculine and the feminine in our culture.
The key to long-lasting love is ultimately about being a “values match” with your Beloved. When you share values you can overcome any challenges together because you both want the same things.
Drawing in and being able to identify a man who shares your values is what we teach in our online program Your Soulmate Blueprint®. Your Soulmate Blueprint guides you to discover what you truly value in your intimate relationships and gives you the tools to identify a soulmate match.
- You’ll dig deep into what really drives you in relationship, giving you the ability to know without a doubt who is a perfect match for you!
- You’ll gain a new level of confidence you never knew was possible, and that’s going to amplify your radiance and attract your soulmate to you faster than ever!
- You’ll increase your ability to receive love, which in turn will inspire him to want to give you more and more.
- And so much more! This is one of our most comprehensive transformational programs, and we know you’ll be blown away at the results (and the results come fast too!).
You can read more about Your Soulmate Blueprint® here.