This week's question comes from Vicki:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been delving into so much of what you two share and I’m realizing so much about myself. The truth is I'm still afraid of losing myself in a relationship. How do I ensure that I won’t go back to that behavior again?"
—
Dear Vicki,
You’ve already taken the first step, which is to recognize this pattern of losing yourself in a relationship. How you show up in your relationships isn’t going to magically change one day, it’s a process. The good news is that identifying your negative patterns puts you in the driver's seat to make the changes you desire.
Digging deeper into the reasons you are
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Overcome Self Sabotage
Why Am I Attracted To The Wrong People And How Do I Change It?
This week's question comes from Anonymous:
"Dear Orna and Matthew,
Why am I attracted to the wrong people? I am attracted to not only non-committal men but to mean, moody, and nasty men.
My father was mean, moody, and nasty. He yelled at me and called me names my entire life up until about three years before he died. Those are the same type of men I have chemistry with.
My last boyfriend was mean, moody, and often said hurtful things to me. I felt like a mere convenience and rarely stood up for myself. I broke up with him a year ago but am still hoping he’ll beg me to come back. We had such good chemistry, and he was so into me the first year when I wasn't so
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How To Tell A Guy You Don’t Like Him Without Being Mean Or Cruel
One of the hardest parts of dating is telling a guy who is asking you out again that you don’t like him. You’re clear that the two of you are not a match, and you don’t want to come across as mean or cruel. How do you tell a guy you don’t like him without hurting his feelings?
Telling someone you don’t like them isn’t the same as being told by someone they aren’t interested in you, but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. You’ve probably been dumped by someone who didn’t do it in the nicest way, and you don’t want that kind of dating karma on your hands. Mastering the uncomfortable conversation is one of the skills you’ll need to develop for a loving partnership to
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If A Soulmate Is Your Goal, You Need To Know Your Love Imprint & How It’s Affecting You
You’ve likely heard the saying, “Men marry their mother, and girls marry their father.” This is just too simplistic when considering how complex human beings are. The reality is that your caregivers and your entire family of origin play a role in Your Love Imprint® and how you are hard-wired for love.
Whether you ever had a stable family unit or not, whether you were raised by one parent or both, you learned about intimate relationships from the people that raised you.
So, if you want to spend the rest of your life with your soulmate (a person that you can count on to stand by you) you’ll need to know what drives your choices in love.
If you’ve done the work of
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Feeling Intense Sexual Chemistry & Worried It’s A Bad Sign For Your New Relationship?
Is intense sexual chemistry a sign that the two of you are meant to be? Or is it a signal that you’re going down a familiar path leaving you heartbroken again? How can you tell if intense sexual chemistry is love vs. lust?
The rush of connecting with someone new when it seems you’re naturally in sync can be exhilarating! The conversation flows easily, you have butterflies in your stomach, and when you finally kiss the chemistry is off the charts. Next thing you know you’re obsessing about him constantly and it feels like you’re walking on air.
How do you know if he’s your soulmate, or if he’s just another guy who’s going to break your heart?
While chemistry is an
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Worried About Giving Too Much In Your Next Relationship? Practice These 9 Skills Now So You’re Prepared
Do you have a habit of giving too much in your relationships? Have you felt like your needs didn’t count or matter to a significant other? Or have you gone into sacrifice, giving and giving to your partner wishing and hoping he would reciprocate?
Over giving is not the same as being generous or conscientious; it’s actually a detriment to creating the lasting love you long for. Even worse, it breeds feelings of anger and resentment alienating you from those you love.
If you’re constantly trying to earn approval and acceptance, never taking time for yourself, or if you feel guilty receiving from others, not good at asking for help or making requests, it’s very likely
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