This week's question comes from Suzie:
"Dear Orna and Matthew,
The crux of my question is this: How long should I wait for him?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years and I love him and yet I don’t know if it is ever going to work out. He is still dealing with his ex and working through custody issues with their 7 yr. old son.
They spend a lot of time together (at events for his kid’s school, at parties and gatherings with their friends from their marriage) sometimes it’s like they aren’t even divorced. I feel excluded from his life in many ways.
He says he still cares for her but that they will never get back together because they fight so much. But it
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Dating After Divorce
Tired Of Being Lonely And Alone For The Holidays?
This week's question comes from Lily
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I am so tired of being lonely and alone and with the Holidays coming up I don’t know what to do.
This time of year is a really hard time for me. My husband filed for divorce just before Christmas 8 years ago and I can’t forgive him for ruining this time for me. He said he felt like I didn’t give him any space to be himself – I made more money than him and he was always resentful of that.
We didn’t have any children so I can’t make the holidays about them. We got married in our early 20’s and now it feels like time is running out for me. Lately, I find myself avoiding my family as much as possible. I’m tired of the
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If You’re Tired Of Being Lonely But Don’t Want Another Bad Relationship, Here’s What You Need To Do
There is nothing worse than feeling tired of being lonely and yet afraid you’ll make the same mistakes if you get into a relationship again. It feels like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place – part of you longing for love and another part afraid you’ll make the same mistakes again.
We call this situation being stuck in a double bind. Two parts inside of you want what appears to be opposing things and these two parts are at a standoff. It's like you are arm-wrestling yourself and each part is equally strong, so you never get anywhere – you’re just stuck.
If you stay stuck too long then you’ll end up unmotivated and ambivalent about ever creating love. Your motivation is lost,
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The Golden Nugget Of Learning™: 4 Steps To Getting Over Heartbreak And Learning To Love Again
When your heart is broken it can feel like time is standing still. Every excruciating minute seems like an eternity. Getting over heartbreak can feel like the hardest thing you will ever do.
It can feel like your heartbreak will never end, but we guarantee you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will discover how to love more deeply than ever before.
When your heart breaks, it breaks open to receive more love. So take time to go through the heartbreak to discover the gold on the other side.
Time is your best friend when you’re getting over heartbreak, however, there are steps you can take to accelerate your healing.
Here is the Golden Nugget Of Learning™: 4 Steps
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Do All Men Cheat? 5 Steps For Overcoming Betrayal
This week's question comes from Becky:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’m writing to you because I think I know what my problem is. I’ve been cheated on by almost every boyfriend, and four years ago that’s exactly what happened with my now ex-husband. Do all men cheat? Why can’t I just finally meet a man who is faithful?
I’ve done a lot of healing, but I still think every guy will cheat. How do I overcome what must be my #1 block to love?
You two have to be the most adorable couple! You give me hope. Can you help me?"
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Hi Becky,
Thank you for the compliment and for reaching out to us. It makes sense considering what you’ve been through to wonder, “Do all men cheat?”
Asking do
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Are You Afraid To Date Again? 7 Strategies For Getting Back Out There
This week's question comes from Tami:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I have not been in a real relationship in over 20 years and I’m really afraid to date again.
My personality takes a while to unfold with new people (I'm an introvert), so in today's speed dating kind of world, I feel quite lost and afraid to get out there.
I've had a few coffee dates that don't go anywhere and based on my past history, I don't really trust myself to meet anyone decent anyway. How do I get the confidence to even try? I find it's just easier to be happy with me & my cats.
Sincerely,
The middle-aged crazy cat lady ;)"
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Hello Tami,
Thanks for sharing that you’re afraid to date again.
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