This week's question comes from Tina:
Hello Orna and Matthew
I am in a 7-year relationship. When we met I was very busy with a new business and to be honest I was not attracted to him. He was persistent and so kind to me. Slowly his kindness started to allure me. The first time he held my hand I felt irritated then I felt I didn't really want him to let my hand go. My attraction to him grew in a way I was not familiar with. I so loved the way he adored me, and there was something I had never experienced, an aroma that I was so drawn to. I wanted to be so close to him.
This has been 7 years of pure confusion. Within a year the man that adored me, started
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Effective Communication
Can I ask him to change?
This week's question comes from Krista:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
Thank you for your wonderful work!
Is it okay to ask someone to change their behavior in a relationship? Is this the same thing as trying to change who someone is? I am confused about whether it's okay to ask for what I want, when it in essence requires the other person to change.
Thank You
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Dear Krista,
What a great question! We hear this from a lot of our clients. “How can I get this man I love to behave differently?”
Well, there is no magic template for getting a person to behave differently. If you discover it, please share it with us… as we would like to use it with some
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Friends With Benefits?
This week's question comes from Pauline:
Dear Orna and Matthew,
I know you give the best dating advice so I hope you can help me…
I was dating a man for over 12 months and I often asked him if we were 'ok' as sometimes he was responsive and loving, yet other times, I couldn't even get him to reply to an sms. During the times when he couldn't even look at me when talking, it gave me a reason to feel insecure. A few weeks ago he told me he wasn't 'in love' with me, but had a love for me. We continued seeing each other until Dec 30. I couldn't help but ask how we were and where our relationship was headed, if anywhere. I pretty much pushed him to make a decision i.e.
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Are you creating disconnection?
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’m hoping you can help me because I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I picked you two because I think you give the best dating advice for women – I’ve read ALL the other blogs. I also like that I get a point of view from each of you.
So here’s where things went wrong…
I met a guy online who lives in another state and after about a month of “Skype Dates” he flew to meet me over a weekend.
The really weird part is that the first night we were out, after having a great time dancing together we stopped into a bar and my ex was there with his wife. I’m over him… but it really through me for a loop.
It was late, we decided to leave and as I
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Why do I take his behavior personally?
This week's question comes from Clare:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thank you so much for all your work on the subject of love. I read your notes regularly and have been working on my blocks for some years now. I have recognized some of my dating patterns and have become more conscious of my feelings.
3 months ago I met a wonderful guy. A connection we both cherished and appreciated. However in the last week there seems to be a shift. We've had little 'discussions' about household chores: he's very set in his ways and I have spoken about this and he is aware of it. He is positive with this and says we need to evolve together as we are learning about each other.
I
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How Do I Let Go of Fear of Abandonment?
This week's question comes from V:
"Hi Orna & Matthew! I'm pretty new to Love On Purpose but I really appreciate your Love Notes Weekly! I've been divorced over 2 years and have been dating the same guy for about 7 months; someone who is spiritual and completely different than my ex. (He's truly a good man. I do realize not all men will up and leave in a relationship.) I rode my roller coaster ride of emotions after my ex left and thought I was doing really well and moving on with my life and started dating again. Recently I found out that I have abandonment issues, which in turn caused me to also have jealousy issues. My ex-husband up and left me
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