This week's question comes from Mary:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been sitting on this question for you two for a while now because I’m not sure how to ask it or if you’d understand me. I know I’m a smart, sophisticated, and sensual woman and to put it bluntly, I’m exhausted.
I am tired of doing everything. I am the responsible one. I get shit done.
I’ve overcome a lot of adversity in my life. I pride myself on being resilient.
I’m the one everyone comes to when they need help. I’m capable – highly capable.
My adrenal glands are burnt out. I’ve crashed and burned. My health has suffered and my sanity has suffered.
I don’t want to be some passive meek
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Lasting Love
How long to wait before getting engaged?
This week's question comes from Desiree:
"Orna and Matthew,
I’ve been following you two forever it seems. I think you give the best dating advice for women. I’ve been dating a lovely man for about 3 months now and he hasn’t officially proposed… although he’s asking me questions that are letting me know he’s already thinking about it.
The news is everywhere about Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande getting engaged after dating only 3 weeks! Argh!
I know celebrities don’t follow any “rules” and I'm not about to run off and get married. I am curious about what you two think is the right amount of time to wait for a couple to get engaged and start planning a
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WHY Am I Attracted To One Man Instead Of Another?
This week's question comes from Amy:
Hi Orna and Matthew,
I am fairly new to your community and I am gobbling up all the great new insights on your website and in your blog. After my BF of over 7 years broke up with me I’ve been doing my best to put myself back together and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes I’ve made in the past.
Would you please let me know what you believe is the reason I’m attracted to a particular man instead of another?
I relate to everything you share about how I am the common denominator in all of my relationships and when I look backwards I don’t necessarily see a commonality in the men I’ve been in relationship with – the only thing
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Will I Always Feel Like I’m Broken?
This week's question comes from Ann
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
My story is rather long and complicated so I'll keep this as brief as possible. I grew up in a very dysfunctional alcoholic household. There were absolutely no boundaries. I've had lots of help and even attend a 12-step group. All this has been very helpful and it has really come down to me taking action, which has been scary. My relationships with men have been dysfunctional and it has been a slow learning process in how to have a healthy relationship much less be able to imagine one.
It seems the men I am most drawn to are into me in the beginning, we move too fast then I feel like I am tossed to the side.
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Should I get back with my ex?
This week's question comes from Lisa:
"Dear Orna and Matthew,
I hope you can help me. My ex wants to get back together with me. We've been broken up for 3 months and I've been focusing on myself, on my own healing. I'm starting to feel really good about myself. And that's the problem. He has noticed the changes I'm making and we've been getting along really well lately. I'm so confused. How do I know what to do? I still love him and I feel encouraged by the way we've been getting along. Should I get back together with him? How do I know he won't hurt me again?
Thank you for your time."
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for reaching out to us for guidance. The first question
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I don’t want to regress into my old patterns…
This week's question comes from Susana:
"Hi Orna and Matthew,
Thanks for the opportunity to get your help and advice. My question is: I've done all my work and I have started dating someone totally different and very special. This means I have changed. But how do I keep from going back to my old ways and make sure this relationship lasts?
Thanks!"
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Dear Susana,
How exciting! We love to hear when someone in our community has broken old patterns and created a new kind of loving relationship. Brava!
We are here to support your desire to not slip back into those old ways of being in this new relationship.
Here are a few thoughts we have about how to
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